Hello all! Im new to this app! Glad I found something like this! But, it’s my first week in Outpatient rehab doing the Parcial hospitalization program (PHP). Im struggling with it a bit… i’m not sure the purpose of it quite yet.. I don’t understand anything they are trying to teach us, they don’t talk about alcohol at all, etc… I hate being in groups like that too like i’ve always struggled in school growing up. I have major anxiety and i up and left 2 classes today! And didnt go back for a whole hour (until break time) mainly because I was embarrassed for walking out & didn’t want to walk back in until the room was empty. So now that I’m back home I’m honestly just getting angry thinking about it… like what is this??? What am i doing??? Do i continue? Thought id post on here to see if anyone has had any similar experiences or has ever been in a program like this. Thanks! Hope everyone is having a nice night 
Hello,
Welcome to the app and sobriety. Early in, in rehab and recovery rooms, I was told to look for the similarities and forget about the differences. I'll share a bit of my rehab story, I hope you find something that resonates with you.
My first day sober was the day after I returned home from a business trip when the house was empty. My, now ex, wife had an intervention for me. I was told to go to rehab, or we would be getting divorced. She had the number for Hazeltob in Minnesota, and zI was to call an intake counselor. Most of the discussion was a blur, except this one question I asked him. I asked "How long can I not drink?"
He said - "Forever." For those with long term sobriety this is the WRONG answer. My 2 cents is he was probably new to sobriety ND a patient there thst had to do phone time.
I was prepared to pack a bag to go from ORD to MSP for treatment. Insurance had other plans. Instead of doing Inpatient rehab, they would pay for less expensive Intensive Outpatient Rehap (IOP). So I drive 50 minutes each day to spend about 7 hours in a rehab program.
The first few days, I had no clue what was going on. I was told to pick up some drug called Naltrexone, pee in a cup, and do some small group therapy, large group classes to learn about alcoholism and addiction, small group stuff. And then large group stuff. In obe of the large groups we had to tell the rest of the group
- What meetings I went to
- Howard days sober zi had
- If I had a sponsor
I got on those tasks because I didn't wanted to be shouted out as a failure in front of 30 or so other people.
The 30 days were blurry. I watched a few movies, had an evening family nite, met with a few doctors, a therapist, drank decaf coffee (funny thing is tjat i put several bags of the decaf coffee in hopes to get a slight caffeine buzz, the other patients thought I was brilliant!), ate snac
ks that I brought with me.
I was eventually released after 30 days. Somethings thst I took away from rehab
-My chances of staying sober are slim. I saw people getting kicked out for coming up dirty in a urine test. Bit was also told during a large group that my chances were slim.
- I learned that my disease wants me dead and will stop at nothing.
- I learned that James Woods starred in a movie called "My Name is Bill w." It's about the start of Alcoholics Anonymous.
- Naltrexone stops the physical cravings, it's the mental obsession that I need help with that working the Program will help with
- Where different meatings were near my rehab and home at various times.
- Build good habits, and just one or 2. Short and easy wins.
I've learned a lot more during my sobriety. It has been a journey that isn't perfect, it is still an amazing life.
I vlog my journey. And can be reached by going to NielFlamm dot com
If it keeps you sober! Do it. I was in HPMP for 5 years