Over the weekend i had a slip i got high on cocaine but this time was doffrent i choose to stop and not keep doing it i recently had a daughter but while all that i almost died i lost most of my blood and while in the hospital recovering the father never showed up and it broke my heart and hes now seeing it how he chose wrong and he allowed others to steer him off in the wrong direction and now we are separated and i know he loves his daughter but he was scared because his last child was taken from him even though he was doing everything right so it made him run from thisnchild but hes seeingnit now i moved away im now 9 hrs from someone i still love and i care for and im all alone in unknown territory and its all new to me to be back with family on my moms side that i never knew as my dad hid me and my brother from that fact we had a mother out there but when we did get to really fin out we ended up having to bury our mother here where i am now and its very over bearing and new to me and i believe this is where my slip stems from is being alone here and not having the person i love woth me im just here going through the motions myself and with a new born so when i come back fromt his slip my child was taken for 3 days from me because everyone thought its the right thing to do was to punish me by keeping my child away from me no i dont believe that i get itnsober up and which i have and to keep my child from me and everything its made me wanna run away but i cant bevause cfs is threatened on me always if i leave cfs will take my daughter for wht im notnsure apparently because im not yrusted ive been sober off of hard drugs 3 yrs i slipped this weekend and now everyone arpund me is looking at me like im a failure and cant be trusted with my child it makes me wanna go get high even more but i know its not the right thing to do i shouldnt be looked down on like this to make someone feel more uncomfortable doesnt help im alone and i just ugh i wish i kinda didnt have to come here i never wanted to but where i was i never had a home in place fornme and baby so i had no choice or cfs was taking baby but being here i cant stand as im living under my aunties roof and i can feel the tenstion of me being in her home she says shes happy shes helping me but i dont think shes understood what that all meant its a big responsibility and i dont wanna be the problem in her home i want my own home so im no longer her stress im not planning on getting high again but how do you prove this to a bunch of people who dont understand addiction or how you should come towards it with compassion not control and to punish someone
Please don't give up work the program try to earn back your self love and trust in god and help yourself pull yourself out of it and try to recover and give yourself credit. Love yourself first
And trust in yourself. Get a job. I know you dont want to use again. Try to stop the self loathing. Take care of yourself
Dont use people take accountability for yourself. Try to pull yourself up by your bootstraps and fight as hard as you can for that life you want
I'm reading this trying to get the story straight. You said you've been sober off hard drugs for 3 years. I wonder what you mean by hard drugs.
Keep going forward. Go to meetings and make new friends. As for your family well we all were in the same boat, you have to show that you have changed by living a clean sober life they will come around. We put ourselves in that position by lying, stealing and all the other tactics we could come up with. Things will get better once you begin living! Keep your head up girl
Meth and cocaine
I hate to see ppl struggle in addiction. If you are using other substances, you may consider that may be your problem. Idk.