I don't really know how to say this, but, I'm feeling overwhelmed with this anxiety that is telling me I wasted all my crucial years. I guess it's regret. I know it's never too late to grow, but I don't know. I didn't realize self development was so difficult, and it feels like I need to catch up on 20 years worth of growth in a short time.
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It’s not too late. Just forgive yourself and you’ll be OK.
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It’s never too late!! Don’t give up
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Also, take deep breaths and inhale in count to eight hold it and then blow it out the count of six just keep doing that I know what you’re going through
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Everything you experienced during those years was necessary for you to be where you are today, and who you are today. Try not to dwell on the past. Today is an opportunity to live a better life. Progress takes time. Be kind to yourself 
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Unfortunately, you need to be READY to get sober and that happens to people at different ages. Fortunately, you don’t look terribly old in your profile pic!
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Thank you 
I've been sober for 6 months so far, that's why this is hitting so hard. My brain can actually think about these things now.
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I've been getting better at not dwelling, but sometimes those negative thoughts will creep in and stay for a while. I'm working on how to kick them out.
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Distraction helps until you get the tools to deal with those thoughts. I play video games or something that requires my complete focus. There have been some good suggestions in these comments as well. Hang in there. It will get better.
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Steven, I am 54 and just over a year sober…and I feel like my life has just started. We have this day today, not yesterday and not tomorrow. I just take it one day.
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You have permission to just deal with today. You can tackle all of the rest of it in time. When you are ready you’ll know. Thats shat the steps are for. Your higher power has it in hand. You don’t have to do all of this at once. In fact, you shouldn’t. Alcoholics and addicts live juggling everything all at once. Thats a great skill to have but it’s not the way to live each day anymore. Just do today. Thats ok.
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Don’t lose heart; your sober brain & mind will grow at a much faster rate. Substances that alter our brains, impede our ability to think critically, to analyze, and to simultaneously view things from more than one perspective thereby offering more than one perception. Our decisions and life choices become healthier because our brain / minds are sober. Thus, the difference in sobriety & sodriety. Relax and enjoy the journey. You will miss a lot of growth, joy, & life if you are racing ahead to catch up with some imaginary place in life your anxiety/fear has lead you to believe you should be at your current stage of life. Living one day at a time to the best of our ability will take us along the path to our best life. Wishing for you the very best life in sobriety.
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Thank you. Relaxing is something I'm not used to just yet. I've been living my life in autopilot until now, and the concept of being happy and feeling ok is very foreign to me haha! I do need to learn how to slow down and enjoy myself.
It took what it took to get here
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It comes exactly when you are ready to receive it. It says almost all of us don’t like the leveling of our pride and the fact that we have to look within. It’s hard stuff but the only thing in my lifetime that has given me any chance for experiencing serenity. Don’t focus on the time you spent unguided and without any plan or purpose. Focus on making the most of the time you have left, it’s the small things for me. You can’t change what has already happened, it will kill your spirit and make you overthink on a bunch of stuff that wasn’t going to happen anyway. Just embrace now and it will open you up to a brighter future.
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Yeah, those thoughts and feelings we suppressed for so many years have a tendency to come flooding back like a tsunami. It's great that you shared. As we recover, we learn how to deal with the waves, but it can be terrifying at first. You can do this. If I did, you can.
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First off it’s never too late and secondly, you don’t have to catch up on anything! You just work each day to become who you can become right now
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In my experience, you stop growing up when you start partying. So I am almost at a year sober, and through all my own soul searching, I, at almost 38, have been stuck at 15 for the last 22 years. The self growth does come, and with help from a good support system, you will be amazed at how far you will come. Just keep in mind that you only have to do one day at a time and try to be better each day than the day before.
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Yeah, it will be just over 1 year when I turn 38. Thank you.
Just keep coming back, the healing will take place through service. Don't use and go to meetings!
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