People think recovery is this clean, shiny, perfect-life bullsh¡t. Like, the second you put down the booze or the p¡lls, the universe suddenly gives you a golden ticket. Mornings are magical. Every day is calm. Everything just… works. That’s a lie. That’s propaganda. Life doesn’t give a fck if you’re sober. Life is going to hit you, and it’s going to hit you hard—physically, mentally, emotionally—whether you’re sober, h¡gh, rich, or broke.
This week? Mentally, I’ve been getting punched in the face by reality. One minute I’m hopeful. The next, I’m completely helpless. Mornings hit me with this irritability in my chest, this rage that doesn’t even have a reason. I want to scream. I want to isolate. I want to disappear so I don’t tear apart the people I love. And let me be real: I don’t hide behind recovery to pretend I’m perfect. I’m not some superhero because I don’t pick up anymore. I’m just a guy sitting in his own head, feeling the raw chaos of life, trying to put the pieces together. Most days? It doesn’t make sense. Most days? It’s brutal.
And here’s the kicker: I don’t run anymore. I don’t numb myself. I don’t escape. I sit there, in the dark, in the quiet, and I face myself. I feel my pain. I feel my anger. I feel the hopelessness. And I push forward anyway. That’s the difference. That’s the fight. Today, right now, sitting here alone in my bedroom, I didn’t pick up. I didn’t let the demons take me. I didn’t let my soul get hijacked by the chaos. I stood my ground, and that’s the real victory.
Because here’s the truth nobody tells you: recovery isn’t about feeling good. It’s about surviving the days you don’t want to survive. It’s about showing up when every part of you wants to quit. It’s about staring down your life, scars, mistakes, and failures, and saying, “I’m still standing.” And if you can do that? If you can get through today without surrendering? You’re winning. You might not feel like it. You might feel exhausted, broken, angry, alone. But trust me—you’re winning. That’s real strength. That’s real power. And that, my friend, is everything.
Keep showing up for yourself.
Love Y'all 
Goodnight.
—j. anthony | @theSoberSessions