Placing Ourselves Last
"Having an overdeveloped sense of responsibility, we preferred to be concerned with others rather than ourselves." BRB p. 589
When we arrived at ACA, many of us realized we had a pattern of putting all others before ourselves. It seemed their lives were more important than ours, and we just got the crumbs or whatever was left over. We had developed a "What about me?" victim persona.
Some of us noticed this when we finally became so tired of not being listened to by friends and family. We thought, "Hey, I want to talk about my life, my interests, my challenges, too!" This deprivation had led us to feeling lethargic, hopeless, and depressed. We were wallowing in self-pity, compulsions, or addictions to numb our pain.
In recovery, we find ourselves transforming this pattern. Our unconscious compulsive reactions are lessening. We find freedom from our survival traits when we talk in meetings and with our fellow travelers. We work the Steps. We meditate and pray. We read and write about our thoughts and feelings. We begin opening up, ready and willing to turn our dysfunctional patterns over to our Higher Power. We see how our wounded Inner Child is responding to our inner loving parent's compassion.
On this day I know there is an alternative to being overly concerned with others rather than myself. Gradually, more of my needs are met and I feel I am finally listened to
