I write this around 1:00 am. Afraid to sleep as my body is suffering from the effects of drinking alcohol. In a nutshell…. Relapsed about 2 weeks ago. 2 day binge. Then felt the usual detox symptoms along with severe chest pains that scared me. After 21 hours in the er, I learned i had esophogitus (sorry about the spelling) and an ulcer. Given meds. I don’t feel better fast enough soooo i drink again. 2 day binge. Then the worst detox of my life for 3 days. Auditory hallucinations. Visual hallucinations. Cannot walk without help. And bp 190/110. Back to the er. They say that detoxing is causing high bp. Give me IV
valium and I go home. Tonight bp is
188/98. Still can’t walk. So i double up anxiety meds and sleeping meds. (Don’t do that) Bp is down to 167/99 and I feel better.
So my point is, please treat yourself better than I did. It’s so not worth it to drink/use. You are meant to be so much more than an alcoholic. God did not give me life for me to throw it away. If i were Him, I’d be pissed at me. But He won’t be cuz He is forgiving and full of grace. So I must forgive myself. The mental anguish is a whole other story. I’ll save that for later. Be good to yourself. You are loved.
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Thank you for sharing Barbara. That is deathly scary! I've definitely felt those terrible, scary chest pains and not being able to walk! Glad you're feeling better.