I write this around 1:00 am. Afraid to sleep as my body is suffering from the effects of drinking alcohol. In a nutshell…. Relapsed about 2 weeks ago. 2 day binge. Then felt the usual detox symptoms along with severe chest pains that scared me. After 21 hours in the er, I learned i had esophogitus (sorry about the spelling) and an ulcer. Given meds. I don’t feel better fast enough soooo i drink again. 2 day binge. Then the worst detox of my life for 3 days. Auditory hallucinations. Visual hallucinations. Cannot walk without help. And bp 190/110. Back to the er. They say that detoxing is causing high bp. Give me IV
valium and I go home. Tonight bp is
188/98. Still can’t walk. So i double up anxiety meds and sleeping meds. (Don’t do that) Bp is down to 167/99 and I feel better.
So my point is, please treat yourself better than I did. It’s so not worth it to drink/use. You are meant to be so much more than an alcoholic. God did not give me life for me to throw it away. If i were Him, I’d be pissed at me. But He won’t be cuz He is forgiving and full of grace. So I must forgive myself. The mental anguish is a whole other story. I’ll save that for later. Be good to yourself. You are loved.
Thank you for sharing Barbara. That is deathly scary! I've definitely felt those terrible, scary chest pains and not being able to walk! Glad you're feeling better.
Nat I was remembering a post about not being able to walk. That must’ve been you. So thank you for sharing because I was able to realize it was all part of the detox process. And I wasn’t just going crazy!
I'm glad we're both feeling better? Sometimes my head hurts when I lay down too fast but I think that is heat exhaustion. And my feet hurt when I have tooooooooooo much sugar.
Yes I agree. So glad for both of us. I’m still feeling bouts of lightheadedness but I’m sure it’s my unstable blood pressure readings. Together I believe we can fight this beast of addiction/alcoholism.
Take care of yourself. Maybe find a therapist to work on the symptoms of mental health concerns? You are worth it!
Thanks Laura. Yes I have a therapist and I’m working on my underlying issues. Just feels like healing takes so long!
I hear you and second that. After my husband's suicide I was in therapy for 3 years! It was so worth all the painful work though. Hang in there, your cheerleaders are here for you!
Oh Laura I’m so sorry. I cannot imagine what you have gone thru. Thank you for your support. And I’ll be cheering for you!