Ode to Recovery
(This is for all those who struggle with addiction and mental illness, you are not alone)
I feel at home trapped in the chaos
I feel alone inside this hl
I put on a big fake smile
I tell everyone I’m well
I’m not ok trapped in this torment
I just want to numb it out
So I turn to what I’m used to
This is what it’s all about
Selfishly I drink that tonic
I can feel it wash away
All the sickness and the anguish
Til it comes back the next day
Something harder, something deadly
That is what I really crave
Something sickening numbs everything
To my demon I will cave
Bend me break me I don’t mind
I’ll use it as an excuse to go
Next time more times every kind
I use everything I know
Numb this sickness til I don’t hurt
That’s the sweet spot best unsaid
Anything that I can do
It gets me, out of my head
But it hurts the ones around me
So what, I’m still seeing red
Just a little more to calm me
But the shame is I’ll end up dead
Gotta change this hl I’m living
I can’t take my brain no more
I get thinking and it hurts me
Why I’m this way, I’m unsure
But I need to find the answer
So I can l change the way I think
If I don’t do something different
I’ll end my life with drugs and drink
