I have a terrible meniscus tear. In my knee and have a bistros type thing going on with my hip.
I am on some meds that are non narcotic. But I tell you that it still hurts. I say it with direct anger. I want to shoot my knee off and yell at the top of a mountain. All I can do is not go pick up!! Still go to the gym, still go into work.
Because my mind wants to do something other then let the body heal. I want to reach out to my sponsor but my mind says your ok you got this. Go on a hook app. Get some. That will take my mind off it for a while. Then when that’s over I still have all this do do. I’m gonna get on this hook app. Shout out to all you who know what it is to be in this type of place. And hope someone will respond who can help me get my mind off the pain. To not pick up to not act out on a self defeating behavior is what I need. I hope I understand that this is just a day I have to to be strong as I change this headspace I am in.
The pain is bad right now and is progressively going to get worst before I hit my rock bottom.
Let’s pray to a power greater than me. I admit that I am powerless. In doing so so I will be restored to a calm and sane state.
amen
