Pretty sure my brain is broken. I don't like to

Recovery
#1

Pretty sure my brain is broken.
I don't like to be alone. Like ever.
My bf always gets home before I do, but tonight I got home first, then he text and told me he accepted another side job which will add another 4.5 hours onto his day.
Immediately, I started thinking who I could call to hang with.
My son's not home as he has to work (which is really weird, he never has to work)
But both people who are normally around aren't here and I want to run around screaming.
I messed up the best relationship I had ever had due to this kinda stuff. It's been so long and I still think of my ex and how stupid I was and now it feels like I'm a nut case....

I don't want to drink, I would like to get high, but won't. But man, do I want some sugar... Like a boat load.

Why do I trade one thing for another so effing easy?

Sigh.

Thanks for listening to my madness.

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#2

Is there a meeting you can get to. Do you have a sponsor or people in the program you can call? Alcohol is loaded with sugar that's why we crave it so much when we get sober. I would rather eat a big piece of cake or chocolate bar instead of a drink. Drink a cold soda that helps me, along with the others. Are there hobbies you like to do? Just some suggestions. Hang in there. It does get better, my friend.

#3

When I want to get high, which is rare anymore. I break a sweat. Exercise, I would run but I can't until my knees are replaced. I do like swimming. I hope this helps. Stay connected.

#4

Your brain’s not broken, sister. Sounds like my story - I couldn’t be alone with myself for 5 minutes. Didn’t realize till my 30s I was codependent. Lost relationships because of it. Addiction + codependency brought me to my knees. What helped: therapy, sober support, listening to women who’d been there. I picked up gems from each one. Awareness is your best friend. Podcasts, books, self-love work. Start today: ask yourself who you are. What do you actually like? When you’re alone, do those things. Occupy your mind with what YOU love, not what fills the void.

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