I don't know why I project my pain when angered. My blood pressure rises and my pain kicks like a mule. I get hateful. AWFUL UGLY HATEFUL... Vengeful. I know my friend is sick. I still allow his negativee energy to project through me. How do I stop projecting negative energy?
I do so well at times and fail so miserably at times.
Please accept what you cannot change. Just for today
I have. But I know that beyond d today my fight/flight mechanism always says fight. I have to learn to surrender my anger over to God. I have to learn to not allows other to effect me emotionally. It is a problem of mine and has been since early childhood. I am at such a loss as to what I am missing so distantly.
Childhood trauma haunts us all. We have to let go and let God.
That’s your inner child acting out for sure! I have same anger issues. On my kids also and I regret the things I say. Inner child work will help.. I found a book by John Bradshaw called homecoming I read in my early stages of quitting and back to it again now. He has some guided meditation’s that are amazing! Be prepared to go back to your childhood though! Take care bro
Absolutely I will try my best. Thank you and you take care as well. Childhood has some to do with it but with the physical pain and how it is intertwined with my BP and anger it is almost worse now. Certainly far more destructive a d dangerous. I will check out the book as well as the meditations. Thank you SOOOOO Much! I need help and am desperate to change this.
I’d find a good therapist that does emdr therapy. It’ll soften the blow of some of the damage/memories! Take care and be easy on yourself!
I think a lot of us project our negative feelings on others. It's something I have to actively work on every single day.
Yes. Absolutely Nikki. My most recent interaction had me so outside of my usual self though and it reminded me that though I have come a long ways, I still have so much to work on and this may be the biggest thing in my recovery that needs work. I felt so awful afterward I wanted to score dope and be numb. I never have wanted dope to feel numb emotionally, it has always been a physical thing. Not yesterday. I drove past the exit that goes to that side of town in the middle of the night and it took a lot to keep on driving. Yet what scared me most was not that. It was ME and who in the moments I had become.