I'm so used to my life being chaotic. Alcohol completely was my reward and punishment. It became constant no matter what time of day. I couldn't function unless I had enough from when I woke up until I finally passed out at night.
My alcoholism did not care how I could get drunk just as long as I was able to get to work to make money to buy more alcohol and little else. Simply with out access to Vodka, the withdrawl was not an option.
I neglected myself and my life was chaos, saddness and alcohol indused panic and worry.
In the past 37 days.
Through AA Meetings, support from everyone, and of course belief in something greater then myself (Higher Power) I have found a peace that I have not felt in years.
I have come to value my peace above all. I have had to learn that not everything needs to have an immediate reaction. I've also been learning to check my motives and not to act on ego. I struggle with having resentments.
It's been a roller coaster these past 37 days.
But I have found peace in the fact that I am sober.
It's a relief to not have to apologize for behavior I barely remember or worse blacked out and had no recollection of.
Peace in the fact that I don't always have to respond to things that as an alcoholic I would spend hours over analyzing and regretting anyway.
I protect my peace as that peace protects my sobriety.
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So very well said., you’re on your way….. stay blessed
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