Question about friends

Recovery
#1

Almost all my friends drink and or smoke pot socially. I suppose some are addicted, but I opened up about having to fight my addiction a couple of weeks ago and they are all very supportive as they have witnessed my problem first hand. Everyone here talks about thier new sober friends. I am certainly not averse to new friends, but I love my groups of friends. Are there members of this group who are successful at maintaining solid frienships with drinking/smoking friends?

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#2

I have kept contact with my chronic alcoholic friend for over 30 years. His life isn’t great

#3

I have but I don’t hang out with them as much because they drink pretty regularly at least every weeknd. They support me but I know my limits

#4

I’m still in contact with my best friend of 25 years. He drinks and smokes weed. I have no problem with it. I have been sober a little over 1 year .

#5

If you can control the Alcohol instead of letting the alcohol control you that’s fine. I couldn’t.

#6

I still have friends who drink, but I only share my life with people who have a healthy relationships with alcohol or thc. I had to distance myself from those who do not or from people who I just sacrificed too much to spend time with. Self protective boundaries. Makes you appreciate sober friends when they come around

#7

They say sober up and see who your real friends are...it goes both ways! Lol...there's connections far deeper than drugs or alcohol when it comes to real true friendship

#8

My best friend who I've known since kindergarten drinks. No problem for either he's a true friend. We do the same stuff we always did. I just don't drink anymore. Same with my brother. Unfortunately though I've also lost a good friend and bandmate to alcohol. I got well and he didn't. It's all up to you and what you want for your life.

#9

I have been wondering this same thing lately. AA and my sponsor talks a lot about a new life with new friends but I still have friends that I enjoy hanging out with and alcohol hasn’t been the center of those relationships. I mean don’t get me wrong it played a large role in the past but they have been completely fine with me not drinking.

#11

Thanks Mike. It seems and I hope that is the case for me. I have a a friend in my close group who is an alcoholic and a dangerous drunk. He is still part of the group and has been sober for years. I hope I can be strong enough to maintain these relationships. I would hate to loose "my people". :slightly_smiling_face: Thanks agin.

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#12

.Thanks Brian. I have also lost a close friend to Al, years ago, but it has taken me a long time to learn that lesson. New friends are hard for me to make at 56 and a busy schedule. I dont want to loose those good friends I have because they still drink and I dont. I guess it will just be another challenge of being sober. Besides the benefits seem to far outweigh the cost. Thank you again.

#13

Thank you. I understand. It seems like you are a true friend and a good person to maintain the relationship despite your friends hardships.

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#14

Thank you. I am going to try to make it work. I have always been a limit tester. Hopefully I can do this and maintain these, what I consider true friends even though I am working on recovery.

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#15

Thank you. That is promising. I hope to maintain these relationships.

#16

Thanks Bob. I feel I have to try. My friendships, including my best friends (my Wife and Son) are a big part of my sobriety motivation. Not to mention Health, career, and my dog.:slightly_smiling_face:

#17

Thanks Nick. That makes a ton of sense. I have some extended family that fall into the category, Maintain distance, but with one exception, I beleive I may be the only one in my group that went over the drunk every night ledge. Thank you again.

#18

Yeah I have a ton of friends and family who drink.for me I set boundaries with them which they respect I still go to bars and nite clubs.you are in charge of your choice of what you choose to do at those moments just don't be the type to go drink or smoke than want to feel guilty after that GOD THATS ANNOYING LOL.but also finding a new circle doesn't hurt also

#19

Thank you for that advice. I hope I dont have to sacrafice many, well maybe couple "friends" that don't make the true category.

#20

That is super promising. If I can keep/maintain my relationships, while staying sober, that is will really help make recovery better

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#21

You can. That's the great thing about sobriety. You get to choose what you do and don't do. I can still do everything I used to, I just don't drink while I'm doing it or where I'm doing it.