I was a highly functioning alcoholic, on a 6 year bender that got to being about 2 bottles of Crown Royal 750ml a day, needing to hair o’ dog the next morning to avoid a hangover only creating a daily cycle until my body forced a time out and slept from Friday night until Monday morning 1-2 weekends a month. Maintained my career (mostly worked from home -drank while I worked), paid my bills, kept my home up, raised my teen child with little conflict (though it would have been so much better sober - it has been since I got sober over two years ago for not only myself but especially for my kid) the few times conflict did arise it was stupid, unnecessary and unfair for her. I have never experienced being arrested or legal consequences of my disease —-reality was that I was dying in every way, Crown became my best friend the only thing I trusted or socialized with.
When I look at photos from 3-4 years ago I do not recognize myself, heart & liver were preparing to fail, I didn’t know at the time but what I did know was that deep down my drinking was not normal & I was/am an alcoholic and needed to stop and knew of a way that could help so I would never have to feel the way I was feeling all I had to do was reach out a bit. And so I did, just like you are.
Only you can make your determination but you are doing the pre-step of Step One; thinking, talking and listening about the possibility that you don’t have to feel uncomfortable about yourself or drinking ever again if you want. Everyone’s program is different we just follow the same basic steps to get there.
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