Questioning if I really have an alcohol problem. Im almost 7 months into my sobriety and my mind keeps telling me I would be ok to go back and drink responsibly. I wasn't blacking out often, I used it more for my anxiety. I usually just kept a consistent buzz or drank a bit before doing something that made me anxious / in a social situation. Which I guess was daily and it really didn't matter the time. But I never got to a point where I needed rehab or went on long benders but I would drink in the morning a few times a week. I guess this is all coming up because Im 28 and I want to start dating but I feel like it seems like an impossible feat sober so my mind keeps telling me I wasn't THAT bad. I guess this isn't really a question just needed to get it off my chest
I personally drank for very similar reasons but eventually got to the point where I know don’t want to rely on a substance to help me feel less anxious so that I can be more social….I have been focusing less on dating and more on trying to find sober friends and a friend group that doesn’t consider drinking the only fun thing to do when hanging out. You chose to stop drinking for a reason…I don’t think I would let your desire to start dating/anxiety around dating be the main reason you start again 
making major lifestyle changes for the sake of dating has never ended well for me lol
Wow that last part is incredible perspective. I would essentially be comprising my values for someone else (not uncommon for me). I will keep reminding myself this. Thanks Jessica! How were you able to meet and make sober friends? Was it mainly AA?
I am still working on that part 
I honestly went a long time without hanging out with anyone because I was personally too tempted to drink just from being around people I was used to drinking with. Lately I have been hanging out with some of my old friends but doing things like pottery classes, fitness classes, lunch, etc. …I have not gone to AA and I can’t decide if I should or not. I feel super awkward in new situations. I’ve just recently been putting myself out there more and going to local events but it has all been in the past couple of months. I’ve just been forcing myself to get out of the house and socialize.
This describes my past drinking problem. A alcoholic mind will always tell a person they can be a normal drinker, but we can not. You have a great start already! Why not finish the journey? I hope you do! Don’t wait until you get to be my age! I wasted so many years , I feel that you can continue on with your sobriety! I love AA. Go to several meetings and just try it. I wish you much luck!
Im the same way, I really want to start AA but the thought of going into a vulnerable situation like that knowing you have to socialize scares me. I've started socializing more too but nights and weekends have been difficult so I've been staying in a lot.
Thanks Ann I really need to start incorporating AA. Just nervous to start but I think it's time
I was nervous too! But I gave it a chance. I never feared being seen going into a liquor store but I feared being seen going into a AA mtg. Plz give it a try! If you don’t like it then don’t go back. There is awesome fellowship waiting for you! Don’t be afraid!
Im going to try and find one this week! Thanks Ann! If it's an open group do they make you talk or introduce yourself? I will eventually but I would want to lay low the first visit
You are not made to talk but it is okay to just say I am Jamie, you are not forced to say I am Jamie and I am a alcoholic. You can be just quiet. Even after years of AA I feel I can’t find anything to share.
My usual comment for this type of post. This is a good listen. Really it is.
There’s an old rule of thumb that says that non alcoholics don’t wake up wondering if they are alcoholics.
If you are nervous about going to a meeting you are just like basically everyone else at their first meeting. A good option would be to log into a zoom meeting. Camera off. Muted. And just listen. Maybe google your local CSO (central service office) and order a big book?
Thanks guys. I really needed this, helped put everything into perspective. I will definitely be saving these comments for the next Saturday night I feel like I want to start again
Hello Jaime! Our addictive brain will tell us anything to survive within us. These are called justifications. The lies addictive substances tell us reeling us back to the addiction. The "just one" and "only this time" are ways the addictive brain can trick us into going back. It wants to live. The more you feel the monster, the bigger it grows. Choose each day not to feed the beast🥰 hugs hun!
Hi Jamie!! I’ve always had anxiety. It has hindered me in so many aspects of life, and for years I have missed out on so many positive opportunities, from making new friends, being present, mindful, and aware when with current friends (unable to enjoy time with others), to succeeding in my career. It can sometimes feel crippling.
Mix all of that with my alcoholism, and you’ve got a dangerous cocktail. Anxiety and alcoholism are co-occurring disorders, and can really make things worse in the long run if left unchecked. For me, I was living in one of two states for almost a decade: totally anxious or completely drunk and incapable of managing life. It started as a few drinks here and there to cut the edge off, to practically putting vodka on my pancakes. I was drinking two pints of vodka in the morning before even brushing my teeth for the day. It is such a slippery slope, and one that made it damned near impossible for me to crawl out of the hole I landed in. It got so bad that for a year I hardly left my apartment. I just stayed home alone and drank alcohol all day.
I don’t want to push you one way or another, but I can share what worked for me. My first AA meeting was a virtual Big Book meeting while in an inpatient rehab facility. When I got out I forced myself to attend in person. I pushed myself out of my comfort zone. It took time to get used to AA meetings. Now, I go to as many as possible because they help me keep a good mind-frame. I came to find that everyone in the rooms shared a common goal, and that I too shared that goal. That is where UNITY really starts replacing the anxiety.
Aside from meetings I downloaded this app, sought help from both a therapist and a psychiatrist, managed my medications, and started working the steps. I might be only 40 days sober, but I’ve already noticed a huge increase in self confidence.
This is just my experience. I hope you find an AA group that’s right for you, and I hope you find the strength to push past the anxiety and give it to your higher power. Take it one step at a time. Just GO! It might help to bring someone in your sober circle you trust who can go to an open meeting.
It is hard with anxiety, but take a chance. I did and am loving my new found freedom. Hope this helps.
A lot of the replies mirror my experience too. I keep thinking it will be ok to have one or that my drinking is not that bad. It’s like I keep trying to justify it. I am focusing on building a alcohol free system with friends.
Great advice
This is my regular mantra here: AA is a fellowship (from preamble) with a suggested program of recovery ‘the steps’ (how it works). Go focusing on the fellowship and support. You don’t have to work the steps, you don’t have to speak (outside of an introduction maybe). Most regulars know new people are uneasy and wouldn’t force anything on anyone, if they do leave and don’t go back
Thank you guys for all the support. Im going to read through these everytime Im starting to convince myself I can drink again
If one is not enough. 10 cases is not enough.I may have a problem.