I’m bothered by the fact that I can’t get it out of my mind. I’m proud of myself for not caving in and buying another vape, but it would be so easy.
It sounds trivial to me when I know this addiction is small compared to others, but I’m tired of it controlling me. When I get stressed, I wish I could reach for it. Bored?- that’s the fix. It doesn’t even feel good anymore to smoke, but I’m still drawn to it.
Growing up, I was literally always told how addictive cigarettes and nicotine are and I watched as my grandfather succumbed to the diseases brought to him by smoking. I can even see the problems that it causes me like a raspy voice and congestion. I don’t even know what a vape is either?? We have the knowledge of what cigarettes do to a person, but vapes haven’t been around enough for us to see the harm that its causing.
I just want to stay committed to quitting. I want the conviction within myself to continue saying no even if it’s offered by a friend. I don’t want to feel comfortable asking if I can take a hit off of their vape. Overall, I am embarrassed that it’s come to this because like most people I thought I had the willpower to just quit. But I am strong and I will continue to keep quitting as long as I need until it is the last time. And I hope it is this time.