Day 116 (3 Months, 24 days)
Grateful to not only be celebrating 116 days in the bank of self-trust and commitment, but also the longest period I’ve gone without drinking since I started drinking.
That acknowledgment makes me both happy as well as sad. Happy in that it’s improvement in comparison to where I’ve been 
and sad in the recognition that I’ve abused my body for decades. 
People share here often about how the days become easier over time. While I recognize this journey is subjective for everyone, I’m looking forward to being able to regard myself as being in that space. In fact, since having crossed the 100-Day milestone (which is where I thought I would be met with rainbows and unicorns) the days have become even more challenging.
On last week’s Zoom call, the discussion topic was the notion of the “Pink Cloud”. In my reflecting on this notion, I was brought to my recent slippery-slope tendency to compare my journey to those of others. Hearing the many shares about folks losing 30lbs, getting new jobs/homes, finding their partners/soulmates, etc, has me like, “none of that is happening for me”. 
Truth be told, I’ve recently been finding myself dealing with mood swings and feeling annoyed. In addition to the pink cloud, through the book club call yesterday I was presented with the notions of grief (relating to having given up alcohol), hard no, and arrested development . . . SMFH.
I’m cool though, just venting. My starting point is always one of gratitude for being sober this day. At least I’m sober, is what I say to myself if I feel an inclination to complain about anything.
Fortunately, despite these and all the future developments that will come up, I know that alcohol is not contributing to my life in any way so will stay the course. But does this mean that I don’t get my rainbows and unicorns???? Asking for a friend . . . 
As always, rooting for you, me, and everyone here . . . 
