Read the sobriety is never owned, but rented tip today. So true. It’s been over 12 years sober for me and the cravings never completely go away. My wife is a casual social drinker and keeps a little wine and beer in the house. Every time I look at it, it sparks a desire in me. Sometimes more than other times. An addict never forgets the feeling of intoxication, that mind alteration. That’s what we crave all the time. A caffeine buzz used to take the place of that. A nicotine buzz did as well. Well I gave up cigarettes 23 years ago and 3 years ago I had to also give up caffeine due to a medical issue. Now I’m left with no escape. This is my reality that haunts me every day. When I get depressed, it’s a trigger. When I’m happy and want to celebrate, it’s a trigger. How do I escape these thoughts? I have contemplated using marijuana, but I have every reason to believe it would adversely effect me medically and when I used it many years ago as a younger man I quit it because it caused paranoia with me. I feel trapped within my mind and body. This feeling spills over into rage at times and I find myself screaming and yelling at minor problems. A cashier at a local store forgot to put hamburger buns in my grocery bag the other day and I had a fit of yelling and cursing in front of my 20 year old son. He was trying to calm me down and I was just raging because I had to go back to the store to get the hamburger buns. He looked at me like I was a lunatic.
Help me diffuse this anger and frustration! I need an outlet. I don’t think I’ll ever relapse, but the possibility is always on the table.
PS: I didn’t scream and yell at the store. I yelled when I got home and realized it.
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Do you go to meetings.any meetings.remember we need to work on ourselves .and be with people like use. 