I’m 16 days sober after a horrible night of putting myself in danger and emotionally abusing a loved one. I am motivated and ready to cut alcohol out of my life and better myself and make sober friends. But I’m not ready to forgive myself for abusing alcohol and hurting someone I really love. again. And that person hasn’t forgiven me either but I know I can’t push that. I feel like being hard on myself is the only way to not “forget” because every time Ive forgiven myself for a drunken mistake it seems to be a slippery slope to forgetting what I am capable of while consuming alcohol. I guess I’m just wondering if anyone else can relate. How do you move past the horrible things you’ve done??
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We can all relate. You're not alone. It takes time, and effort. Be kind to yourself, and do your best to make amends ro yourself and your loved one. And let them heal and trust on their own timeline.
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Forgiving yourself is important…I held on to the resentment I held for myself for too long. I had to do my 4/5 step to fully understand why I needed to forgive. You are 16 days in. Be gentle on yourself. The fixing things comes later. For right now, don’t pick up, and always strive to do the next right thing. You can get there if you want to. I believe in all of us that we can recover and live a beautiful life.
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Learning how to be self-compassionate has helped me move through forgiveness and accept myself with love and grace.
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Forgiveness is for you love.
Well I’ve learned through therapy and group meetings that you can’t change anyone just work on yourself to make a better you they will slowly come around if you try but it is always 1 day @ a time 
You just move on and don’t go back
Actions speak louder then words. Staying clean, and putting in the hard work to not repeat those past mistakes is sometimes the only thing we can do. It’s the living amends we make to ourselves and others.. One day at a time !