Im reconsidering my relationship with alcohol … again!
Been in the rooms, have some sober times in my life. They were OK. (Great compared to how i feel now) Anyway, i was never convinced by people who say, “My life is so much better now that im not drinking.”! During those sober times, when i went out to try and have “fun”, i never really did. It felt so forced and lame. I don’t know. Now im separated and tell myself if she comes back, I’ll never drink again. Shes heard that before. My attitude now is that since shes gone, guess I will go ahead and drink. But its like i can’t stop thinking about her and i feel like im just gonna fade away. If i quit, what does that look like? What do i do? Empty nester, kids aren’t around. How do i meet people? Dont say, aa, not a fan. Just wanted to vent i spose.
Cheers
I can identify with all that. Think about it.
Since you threw out the venting, imma put my $.02 in. I felt similar when I first got sober. Naturally I'm an introvert and alcohol gave me liquid courage. How was i going to be fun? How was i going to enjoy dinner? How would I strike up a conversation at a dinner party full of strangers that my, now ex, wife dragged me to? Simply it was an opportunity to reinvent me. The reinventing didn't happen overnight and the process continues.
I dont know what your experience was in AA, sounds pretty bad. I've been to some bad meetings, met people that gossiped, and didn't work a solid, or any program. This was in the city and vicinity of the various places Ive lived and visited. The great thing is that there are different groups and I'm not limited to a 5 Mike radius, I have the privilege and do like to drive.
Im fortunate not to have picked up a drink since I started my journey. Yup, a 1 chip wonder. I wonder how I did it. I heard in a meeting that I get drunk, we get sober. What ever path is taken, it works when I work with others. I can't do this on my own, I tried and had some dry, not sober periods. Getting into community allows me to see and yearn for what other people have when working a program, and mimic their actions.
Good luck on the journey.
I will share my experience. I was 7 years sober and thought I could too. Turned into a 13 year relapse that I wish every day I could turn back time and change. I wish I could go back and just say no. Because what I endured for the 13 years after I just have no words. Please do not entertain picking up a drink it is not worth it.
I’m with Chrissy on this one. Stayed away from drinking a drugging for over 2 decades, only to think I could control it now that I’m more mature. My relapse took me to places and behaviors I’d never imagined possible. It took me 6 years to get back. The damage I did during that time was unreal (my health, family, business). I don’t want to push any particular path on you, but I will suggest you push yourself to change your thinking. I hope you find the willingness to get into action. Seek a solution and stick with it
Thanks
Thanks, it’s good to hear about your experience
Meeting people is a challenge for sure. Personally, I meet folks at meetings, church, while fishing, at a bar or diner as I still enjoy a burger and a football game.