To feel good and have fun, to feel free, to fit in and have other addicts/alcoholics like me, to feel happy and laugh, to escape trauma, to numb anger/anxiety/depression, to lessen ptsd flashbacks and intrusive thoughts, to try to forget.
Why i stopped: while drunk/high I'd be angry and depressed. The fun/happiness/laughter stopped. I also realized all the people in my life weren't true friends and wanted that to change. To be a better version of myself. To not be reliant on alcohol and drugs. So i can drive when i feel like it. Finding higher powers.