I’m almost 10 months sober. I am dealing with a breakup of a 2 year relationship. My partner was my catalyst into sobriety, and although I know I want to stay sober the urge to just say screw it and drink is strong.
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Stay strong it won’t help anything to lose your sobriety
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Karishma, break ups are terrible and drinking will only make things worse. Please reach out to your support network so they can help you find the strength to stay sober.
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Stay strong. God takes people out of your life that He doesn't deem necessary. The temporary pain will be replaced by a better outcome of your life. So don't drink over it.
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It won't help.. and you will feel worse... plus those feelings will still be there when u come out of it... time is the answer... not time travel... get drunk today all night... u just lost that time to feel better... it will pass... sry your going thru this.. we all have our fight I'm routing for you in yours....
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Breakups suck and 2 years is awhile but 10 months is amazing. It’s not easy but you have come this far…keep going. You’re worth it.
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Thanks all. I really appreciate the encouragement. I have definitely been leaning on my sober network, and I know drinking won’t solve anything and just make it worse. It’s taken a lot to get to this 10 months and I don’t want to blow it over a person or temporary feeling.
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Don't know if you believe! But trust GOD! ask him for help and remember prayers come in our time! Answers come in GODs time! You got this! Ever want to talk recovery DJ 734 787 6591 text me ANYTIME
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I believe in you! Believe in yourself and God!
I got sober for my wife, to save our marriage. At some point around 8 months I went from quitting for her to quitting for myself and actually working on myself and not doing only what was expected. The day after Father’s Day, 2 weeks after I had a year sober, she decided she couldn’t be with me anymore. I was devastated. I stood up and said I was going drink. Somehow, by the grace of God, my car went to the meeting hall. Those people that I barely spoke to surrounded me. I fought it kicking and screaming. The hardest day was when she told me she signed a lease and didn’t want to try and work things out. A couple months later a fog lifted and I began a new journey. Mentally, physically, and spiritually I am in a better place than I have in a really long time. I have a new understanding of our separation and our relationship. I say all that to say it is doable. You can make. Lean on your higher power and the people that support you. Stay strong.
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Call someone in your support network and get to a meeting
I broke up with my fiancé after almost 7 years. It’s so so hard, we are both sober. Using crosses my mind but when I remember my rock bottoms I’m like no thanks.
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Make sure that you play the scene forward if you're thinking about picking up a drink. Because what's going to happen is, once you are done doing the deal, you're going to find yourself right back where you are right now having to deal with the same pain. It's called believing the big lie; that this time, everything will be okay. But it never is, is it?
My advice isn't going to feel good to you right now. And I know what that feels like because I've been there myself. Getting out of a relationship in early sobriety may very well be a blessing rather than a curse.
We get into relationships when we're out there qualifying, and then when we get sober, we find out that maybe we weren't right for each other after all. And the last thing any of us really need in early sobriety is a relationship anyway.
We don't enter a program of recovery because we have so much to offer the rest of the world. We enter the program of recovery because we are having problems getting our lives on track, and we have an addiction that is on our back.
If you move forward in your life and keep your eyes focused on recovery, one day when the time is right ideally when you've been sober for a long time, the right person will come along when you're not even looking.
My sponsor in AA encouraged me to stay out of relationships when I first got sober. Best advice ever given to me. I learned during that time that I was actually codependent. I had never really lived anywhere on my own for any length of time being completely independent of others.
In my case, I actually stayed alone for almost 15 years. Today, I am happily married.
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10 months sober > breakup.
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It’s so hard. I know where you’re at because I was in the same place just a few months ago, but I did drink. I had 2 1/2 years and I didn’t care about the consequences of that first drink, I just didn’t want to feel all of it in that moment. It wasn’t the end of the world, but it was very clear that it was just as bad, if not worse than it had been before and the outcome was bound to be catastrophic. By the grace of God, I was able to stop after 3 months before things got too out of hand. In the time I was out I didn’t feel better, I felt empty. I was doing reckless things to distract myself, I sent humiliating, emotional, hostile texts to my ex under the pretense that I was showing him my pain. In the end it made me feel so much worse about myself. I didn’t quit drinking for him so why should he be the reason I start again. It dawned on me that I wanted to be better than the person I was with him—even better than the person I was before. And not for him. I realized I wanted it for me. Today I am grateful for what I learned about myself through that relationship and it’s demise and even what I learned from relapsing. But I didn’t have to suffer through that and I hope my experience can save you the trouble. You said this person was the catalyst for your recovery, maybe they served the purpose they were meant to in your life so that you can learn more about yourself and grow, on your own, and be an even better version of you equipped for even better relationships, but more importantly a better life of your own. I still struggle with allowing that to happen. I’m lonely and I think of him often—even miss him. But I’ve accepted that it wasn’t the right time for us. There was too much I needed to learn about myself still. I am actually learning how to be happy on my own, and I feel that more and more every day. The discomfort just means you’re already beginning to grow. You’ve got this. If I can feel this much better about myself, better than I felt with him, you can too. Leaning into the rooms of AA and fellowship has been pivotal in that. So has the gym, but I’m more committed to my sobriety and improving who I am as a person than ever. Sorry for the rant, I hope that helps.
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Girl don’t lose the hard work you have done over a relationship that isn’t meant to be in your life. Take the suggestions - up your meetings, talk to your sponsor, connect with more sober women in your area. I went through a bad break up a few months ago, and it almost took me out - but it didn’t. I am so so so glad I just kept doing the next right thing. That relationship was never meant to be a part of my sober life. Please reach out if you need anything.
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Can't let the breakup lead you to relapse.
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We don’t drink - no matter what !!!! So so so sorry to hear about your breakup
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Goodness if this did not hit home today! Dealing with the exact same thing, it’s hard! I am sorry you’re going through this as well, I am just trying to stay positive, busy and SOBER, hoping things start working out and making sense for us both! I’m here to talk!
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Thank you for this, I needed to read this today!