Recently dated a guy after a horrible marriage and I feel like all odds are against me, that I am meant to be alone and I just need to accept it, and all the self- pity and self-loathing kicks in.. I started thinking what I did wrong to be cheated on when I was faithful but I know it’s his sickness, not mine.. doesn’t hurt any less. I keep playing the tape through, wondering why I didn’t just leave at the first red flag but i’m too forgiving.. he seemed so nice, a smooth talker for sure.. but I could tell he didn’t like that I didn’t party and do “fun” stuff. I guess I was too boring to him and also bc I don’t have snap chat and tik tok he used that as his key to cheat bc I was oblivious to it. I took him back (silly me) and the three days we saw one another he was so mean to me..almost like a punishment for breaking it off with him the first time. He ended up ghosting me the night I waited for him to pick me up for dinner. I was very debestated. It’s been two weeks and I still cry and miss him for God knows what.. I just wonder why ppl are so cruel.. I work so hard on myself every day. Any suggestions??
Devastated**
I wish I could answer that. Keep your head up and keep your side of the street clean. Good things will happen.
Sheena don’t worry about a bad date or even a number of bad dates after becoming sober. When the time is right you will find that person that understands you and accepts you for who you are now. Your doing everything right , stay on that path and good things will happen. Your not meant to be alone, everything is gonna be alright
I think you shouldn’t put your all in to someone who is not putting there all in to you. I woke up every day trying to please someone who did not want to be with me and it did not turn out well I wish you the best of luck you seem pretty nice too bad that happened to you
Always think about where you came from and what you’re trying to get to besides being sober dating is hard don’t lose yourself trying to please someone else I lost everything
This all sounds WAY too familiar. It's what led me into a dark place to begin with (which I am out of thankfully). I must have called myself "the world's biggest a--hole" 10,000 times b4 realizing I'm awesome and they are wrong !!! 
7 years is an amazing amount of sober time. Have a very similar story... stay strong AND PROUD!! O2-28-2OO2
Creeps everywhere. Pretty frucked up world today. His loss. You’re in the right place to vent. Welcome. Social media has the world upside down. Keep that sobriety first and foremost. Prince Charming is out there waiting eventually. Don’t give up on living a full life.
God puts people in our lives that we sometimes don’t understand right away. For whatever the reason, it sure sounds like you’re better off without this guy.
Cheaters are weak and insecure. There are good people out there who will actually care about you. Don't give up.
Boundaries are so hard for me too. I always feel like I’m more worried about what other ppl think of me, and not worried enough about me!
I can’t control other people. But I can control how their actions affect me. I have a friend who I message whenever I do a boundary that is hard, and we celebrate with little high fives and whatever.
The hard times in life are the opportunities for the most growth. Seems like that assho1e provided you with a big opportunity.
It’s hard to be alone. I have been longer than I care to be, but it’s always better than being in a bad relationship. I see too many people who are afraid to be alone and stay in bad situations or jump from one to another. One of the reasons why it’s suggested not to date for a year minimum.
But I am so sorry, you don’t deserve to be treated that way. I had a similar situation… time helps
I did a similar thing. I think the key is to keep working on yourself and address that negative self talk. Address the negativity and self loathing first or else you end up right back in the same situation albeit with different person. Be good to yourself.
Sheena, you are an amazing human. Period. Keep up your self care and stick with the community here
Thank you all so much for caring. It really means a lot. I’m sitting in a meeting reading these and it makes me grateful to have so much support. I had an amazing, freeing day today! I had moments of sadness but I was so busy doing service work that I had zero time to be in a funk. (Kinda how this works isn’t it?) 
love y’all!!!
Sounds like you work a great program. ❤️🩹❤️🩹 keep being great, and when a great partner shows up you’ll be ready to complement each other.