Congrats make those zoom meetings.
I have been there. The shame and regret and questions. I think the Big Book calls it incomprehensible demoralization. If you went to someone’s house and they beat you up and took all your money. Made you feel ashamed and regretful my guess is you would never consider going back. Yet we keep going back to drugs and alcohol. What’s the difference?
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Wow thank you so much Tonya. I don’t even know what to say besides how grateful I am right now reading this. I’m struggling mentally right now complete foggy mind, emotions are everywhere up and down! But I’m pushing it’s 4 days already! gods got this
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Stay strong…..we all know that foggy head. It will start to clear in the next day or two!! Your almost there!! Each day I wrote a diary of every emotional and physical thing I was experiencing so each day if I could cross just one of those symptoms off….it was one less symptom and I was on my way to getting better. Remember this is temporary and if you drink you start all over again. Your on day 4 already!! Soon it will be a week! Make your bed as comfortable as you can… pull out your best bedding and dive in. Door dash your door and just live there for the next couple of days. It will still suck with the heart palpitations, sweating, and all of it but if you can try to find gratitude, which is hard when you feel crappy, it will help your mentality. I feel for you…I do but your almost through it. Stay strong Andrew!! Your worth it 
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I’m jumping in my big book tonight and calling it a night hitting my two meetings tomorrow morning and night, and stuck to it. Thank you. You really don’t get how much I appreciate all of these words it’s like I’m re learning how to be human again!
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Whatever works. Sounds like you have an amazing plan! Have a wonderful sober weekend!!