This is weighing heavy on my heart to share with whoever needs to see it. It is no secret I was an IV user for several years & struggled on & off with it. In & out of treatment countless times. Relapse is apart of my story but it doesn’t have to be yours.
So many people die daily from the disease of addiction. Not just because of the addiction itself-but because they also feel like they have no one to turn to. I was in a very dark place for a very long time & KNEW I could turn to people I’d met in the rooms from my previous trips to treatment but I had let my addiction take me so far down that the phone felt like a thousand pounds when I wanted to pick it up to call someone for help or it made me believe “they don’t care to help me, they’ve got lives of their own to tend to, they’re too busy to worry about what I got going on” that’s what our addictions want us to believe. That we aren’t worthy, that we aren’t lovable, that death would be the easiest way out but I’m here to tell you THOSE ARE LIES.
My primary purpose as a recovering addict is to help those still struggling in the dark and bring them to light. You don’t have to suffer alone. In my experience I was diagnosed with paranoia, schizophrenia, MDD & anxiety. I seen & heard things that no one else could see nor hear that traumatized me for a long time. I get it, you’re not alone. It sounds insane because it was insane. The definition of insanity is repeating the same thing over & over again expecting different results. Every time I went back out it only got worse. Never better. I know the agony you’re living in, I know the guilt and shame you carry around with you at every waking moment believing that you can’t forgive yourself for the things you’ve said & done, I know the feeling of waking up and being mad it didn’t just take your life in your sleep because you think that’s the best way out because you can’t see a future with your children or your loved ones or getting a job or ever being successful. THOSE. ARE. LIES.
I feel like too many people don’t talk openly enough about the disease of addiction or their experience with it outside of the rooms because it could possibly give a bad reputation in their field of work (which is completely understandable) but another reason is fear of judgement FROM FOLKS WHO HAVE NEVER EXPERIENCED IT. We gotta kill that thought & 
the opinions of others 
cause baby I suffered for toooo long in silence. Thats why I RECOVER OUT LOUD to HELP THOSE STILL SUFFERING.
There is hope, there is freedom, there is joy, there is peace, there is love, there is laughter, there is a better life waiting for you. Everything you could ever imagine is on the other side of that fear. Please reach out, message me at 3a I DONT CARE. I’m not going to judge you, I’d love to help you, I WANT to help you, LET me help you. If I can’t help you, I have friends who are more than willing. Let us love you until you learn to love yourself. ❤️🩹
If this reaches at least one person & gives them the slightest bit of hope then I’m doing my part. I refuse to be silent.
#wedorecover 
#FromBrokenToBlessed
#ButGod
I hope you continue to thrive , I know we don’t know each other but reach out if you ever need anything!