I've come to realize that I've built my life around my childhood trauma. I've had repressed memories come back to woke me up. I'm so thankful that I can see the bigger picture now. I know that my addiction is part of who I was I know I have to lay down. I started using it 16. Im now going on 42. I had 10 years clean in 2008 till 2019. I know I can do this. Sometimes I don't know. I'm so tired of this struggle. It makes ymme want to disappear. It's all so painful. And I feel so alone.
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