Reintegrating with my life scares me a little bit. When I’m mostly isolated, I can work on myself. Go to work, come home and journal, work on my projects, listen to quit lit, go to bed early.
But I’m not outgoing, and reconnecting with loved ones worries me. Even though they’re all supportive of my sobriety. I get tempted most when im relaxed and having a good time with friends. Trying to integrate while holding my sobriety Tightly is tricky….. (if any of that makes sense)
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It makes sense. Isolation is not good for alcoholics. We NEED to be around our people. People like us, to remind us that we are not special or different. We need people to remind us that we are just ok. Ok is ok. Isolation leaves us alone with our alcoholic mind. The addict in us will tell us all kinds of crazy $hit that’s not true; all in an attempt to get us to do what it wants us to…drink. Some alone time is ok, but isolation is deadly. As far as integration into life, idk, I changed so much it was more like starting a new life. That’s another thing that fellow recovering alcoholics will help you with. Bring them into your life to help you in your integration to this new life. A sponsor is especially good for that.
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Good Morning Kate! First, the fear you are feeling is perfectly ok. I know I get that way too. In a way it can be a healthy fear. It reminds us that we need to be careful and continue working on ourselves. Also, being around other people who do drink can make us feel different, maybe even less than. That’s the committee in our head feeding us negatively. Be mindful of those negative messages. Those are coming from within you. You say these people are supportive loved ones. The truth is you are fine. You are around supportive people who love you and want to see you happy. They are not judging you. It’s us who start this crazy thinking. So, you are doing the right things, you have a support group to call if you are not feeling well, you are surrounded by family that loves you, and you are getting out of the house for some social interaction. I know a lot of people that feel the same way when it comes to getting out and being around people. It takes time to get a little more comfortable and find a balance. In the meantime, keep up with your program, stay mindful, have an exit plan if you don’t feel well, plan in advance what you are going to drink, have a few numbers to call if needed, and have a good time!
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I needed a whole lot of being around my people (other addicts in recovery) before I was ready to face people people.
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Thank you for the encouragement. I’m a bit of over thinker so I do need to remember that I’m fine and everything’s ok. Appreciate the support 
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Follow Shawn and you will do no round. Any meetings 90&90. Or celebrate recovery. We all need people to get and stay sober. Aa 