Ive been out of a job since jan 2024, a career job I mean. I have a part-time job at a gym which is low pay and definitely below my education level, especiall the hard-earned degree and the 4 certifications in my field I aced.
The situation is getting desperate because I need to plan for my future. I am 37 years old. When i finally for my career job at 33 after my first year of sobriety, i felt like god was in my corner. After they terminated almost 2 years later, ive been trying patiently and diligently to ramp up my resume and Ive sent out more than 100 applications.
I havent even been getting interviews, which is completelt abnormal for me. I redid my resume to try to see if that was the issue, and still nothing.
I am being to feel fear about it because by Jan 2025, that will be almost 2 years out of a career job. Time, money, and experience I can be putting towards my future.
There is a definitely sense of urgency inside of me, and i feel desperate and frantic somedays. Doing all I can to get an interview, even applying to jobs below my salary level and without all of the benefits I require because I need to get back into my field.
I am a content writer and strategist. I have over 15 years of experience and my role at my former position was Head Writer and Digital Content Creator at an advertisong agency for the travel and tourism industry.
I loved my job and when I got it, i felt like all the progress i was making in sobriety was truly paying off.
Then when I lost it, my life collapsed with it because at my age, jobs are livelihood. Its a really big deal losing a career job in sobriety, especially when I was no longer making the same mistakes I used to make in my active alcoholism.
I am getting more fearful everyday and no amount of prayer is taking care of the anxiety in my chest when it arises.
I was put on a medication to handle it, along with exercise and daily walks to help leave the tension from my body. I also take time to meditate, recite mantras, and I go to therapy, AA meetings with a sponsor, and a special distress tolerance workshop every week.
I am doing all I can but I know landing a great job is what I need.
I am also afraid I am going to take any job that interviews and actually wants me now - which is also unhealthy because what if it isnt a good fit and I am making a mistake in taking it out of fear, doubt, worry, urgency, need, and desperation?
I really need options so I can make a healthy and wise decision for myself for my next job.
The urgency comes from things like a 401k, IRA, and pension. Plans for my future as I continue to grow older. It is very worrisome for me. It makes me feel helpless and powerless each time I receive a rejection from a potential employer.
I used to take it in stride, and was able to keep a spirit of faith and hope that it will all work out. Then i was hired and it was like all of that good feeling and lack of worry was because it was true - true that i would find a good job.
But look at how that turned out? I have so much doubt in my heart and mind, i feel like i want to scream.