Relapse after 3 years. People places and things. The person that I trusted most gave me opportunity to start getting high again. Then I feel like used it to manipulate me. Day one is so difficult again. I want to be clean. My kids look up to me like I’m everything to them and I just continue to beat myself up knowing I feel like a shitty mother. I don’t want this life but I just feel so defeated and like I don’t deserve the good things that I do have left. I have no one left living in my family to help me and I’m actively trying to be better.
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Girl don't even beat your self up like that. You fucked up, you made a mistake and you relapsed. Don't just lie in your missery. It's not at all about how you fall, it's all about how you get back up. So get up straighten that 
and be grateful for the lesson. Because there is a lesson behind every single thing we go threw good or bad. Your kids don't need to know you goofed up. Like you said, they look up to you, so you only have one choice darling and that's to get up dust off and try again. Your In my prayers friend.
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I sent you a friend request. Hit me up if you need someone to talk to
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It’s not about how many times you fall, it’s about how many you get up. Be grateful you have a day one again it seems you know what went wrong, change it, so this will be your last first day. Good luck, you’re not alone.
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You have your kids left living, and I know that isn't the help you speak pf, but that is all the help you need. We live for them, Jennifer. I'm sure you know this, but in case you need a friendly reminder. 
🩶:black_heart:🩶:white_heart:.
We don't trust active drug addicts, not with OUR sobriety, not ever... not because they are bad people.. because we've been one, and therefore, if for no other reason, we know better. You've got this, sis!
Good morning Jennifer I’m sorry to hear that you slept but when we slept and fall, we get back up and start over again. We’ve got you girl it’s OK.
Sounds like you forgot the first step. Remember that our sobriety has to be the most important thing in our lives. Because without it everything else is ruined.
Today I don’t rely on others, I rely on my HP.
Get back to NA
Get a sponsor
Work the steps
You are owning it by posting your message! Keep coming back!
I try not to get caught up in the question of what I deserve; instead I look for small ways to improve, so I can be a better me and better to and for others.
You deserve sobriety, peace, love and so much more. Sorry you chose to use again.
I had to make my sobriety my #1 priority over finance, romance and even family!
Without sobriety I lose everything and everyone.
With sobriety I can have all of them and so much more.
Go deeper into your program. Have more respect for your disease.
I’m here if you want to talk
Stay the course
I would love to chat with you, I am unsure how to add you as a friend just yet.. but I did get this app today for literally the same reason. I'm 6 weeks sober after destroying 41 months.. the mom guilt is breaking me each and every day with my son (hes only 4).. so he doesn't know or understand, but I think I can relate on that level beyond measure. You're not alone! We got this!
You are going to come back stronger! Remember that when you look back one day.
Look at what you achieved Jennifer 3 years clean is a huge achievement!! You had a lapse in judgement don’t let it keep you down! Get back on it queen you and your kids deserve the best you 
I’m going through something so similar …. BUT WE HALF TO FIGHT FOR OUR KIDS … it sounds to
Me like the person is a narcissistic person…. And if so do your research.. bc you’re going to need to have the knowledge bc they are pure evil ppl with so sympathy! It’s def ppl places and things but to me it goes beyond that… Everyone is tempted is some way even The lord was tempted but he proved that satan cld not temp and Jesus stomped the snake under his feet! Temptation is something that will never go away no matter how long we are clean … but if you are born again and believe in God Sunday morning find you a church if you don’t have one and get born again bc that’s the only way out my love is through the power of God and the Holy Spirit … !!
^no emppathy
Momma, you got yourself high no one can make you say yes! You have to leave those people, before you say I’m mean I have been here, my partner relapsed after years and I ran fast. It’s not clean house and your done this is a forever 
job, get yourself into detox hit treatment hard do 90 in 90 you got this
It’s not day 1 all over again it’s a small hiccup that you can recover from n just a few days, and you will forget it ever happened. JUST DONT LET IT SUCK YOU IN. Get out of it and block the person who gave you the opportunity
What a beautiful reply. 
Put down the bat
Get back to doing what you did to get what you got you’d only be a bad mother if you gave up