Also I don’t drink, never liked it.
But I’ll pop pills and do some coke ……
Be glad life doesn't go your way. I have been convicted of CDS schedule 1 Narcotics Distribution. I have been in a car accident at 85 miles an hour. I have been in recovery since I was 16. I have had a knife at my throat and a gun pulled on me. I have been recovering from heroin addiction from 16 years ago I have not used a needle. It is not about the pain you are feeling or even your feelings, it is about are you Serious enough to stop trying your way. Get to a meeting stop placing blame on everyone else. God spared me
Humble yourself not everything was or is your fault. It is what we do about it that defines us today and who we will become. I know your struggling I can relate. Do something you have to try. I also have PTSD and take no medicine for my mental health issues. I promise you can overcome them because I have experienced virtually anything you can imagine I understand.
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Yes I know mind over matter, but we’re all addicts so I don’t compare.
But if ya wanna, I almost died from cancer at 11
They cut my leg off
Struggled with ptsd, anxiety and depression since around 16 years (I’m 28 now)
And ironically, last year someone hit me head on doing 80 and totalled my brand new jeep.
It isn’t about life going my way it’s about how shitty and unfair life is. It’s a tough lesson to learn.
I can treat this but there is not a large chance it’ll “cure” me
I don’t place blame on anyone (except god if he’s even real)
PTSD can present itself in many ways depending on the person and what trauma they endured .
I am serious, I just started to lose care and hope, the drugs are the only thing that take me away from those constant thoughts.
I’ve been chased by natives in my hometown with mace and machetes.
My hockey team mate was kidnapped and shot in the head twice
There is no god dude, it’s just the way it was meant to be. or doctors and science helped you recover/save ur life . God had 0 power over it.
I don’t know what you mean by you’ve experienced virtually anything ?
I was a chronic relapser. I have done coke weed heroin acid it doesn't matter what it is I have decided I will never do those things again. I was denied disability and there words were we believe you are disabled but not disabled enough to get benefits. I am trying to get you to see the small miracle your having in your life right now. You don't get a year of sobriety on your own. Do you own a book and can you get a sponcor I am not saying your situation is ideal. I am not saying your pain is not invalid. I am saying that you have an opportunity to do many great things from where you are right now by taking accountability for some of the reasons you give to not care enough to keep passing the ball down the road. Your not a bad person and your know there is a way. Find the strength to show up for the you that knows you deserve better. I am no better then you man I am a full blown addict. I have proven myself with countless attempts 3 rehabs probation for a decade. And I thought I was alright. Most people out there weren't robbing people they were settling down and making family's. Meanwhile I'm thinking I'm about to get whacked for the dumb stuff I did. It's a slippery slope man. It gets better but you got to do something about it. Life it's temporary man. I had to learn some very painful lessons some of which I had no business being involved in at all. Your alive man. You have a opportunity. You owe yourself a chance.
PTSD presents itself differently in every person. They all have different trauma.
I don’t blame anyone else that’s why I tried to off myself so I wasn’t a burden anymore.
Not trying to compare but at 11 I got bone cancer, at 12 they cut my leg off.
13 I had another surgery on my leg,
I have Major anxiety and depression disorder, PTSD and Adjustment Disorder.
Do you believe something greater than myself helped me to take the anxiety the Trauma the setbacks. I am trying to help you man. I did not believe God cared about me at all. And if there was a God I swore him off. I am here to tell you my higher power kept me alive. You do not have to believe in a God to even get results in AA. It went much easier for me when I accepted I was not God. And I didn't know how to solve my problem. I could not stop. I was able to stop once I took suggestions I followed regularly with people that were working a program regularly when they felt like it and when they didn't feel like it
Have you read the chapter to agnostics in the big book?
In the preceding chapters you have learned
something of alcoholism. We hope we have
made clear the distinction between the alcoholic and
the non-alcoholic. If, when you honestly want to, you
find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking, you
have little control over the amount you take, you are
probably alcoholic. If that be the case, you may be
suffering from an illness which only a spiritual experi-
ence will conquer.
To one who feels he is an atheist or agnostic such an
experience seems impossible, but to continue as he is
means disaster, especially if he is an alcoholic of the
hopeless variety. To be doomed to an alcoholic death
or to live on a spiritual basis are not always easy
alternatives to face.
But it isn’t so difficult. About half our original
fellowship were of exactly that type. At first some of
us tried to avoid the issue, hoping against hope we
were not true alcoholics. But after a while we had to
face the fact that we must find a spiritual basis of life
—or else. Perhaps it is going to be that way with you.
But cheer up, something like half of us thought we
were atheists or agnostics. Our experience shows that
you need not be disconcerted.
If a mere code of morals or a better philosophy of
life were sufficient to overcome alcoholism, many of us
would have recovered long ago. But we found that
such codes and philosophies did not save us, no matter
how much we tried. We could wish to be moral, we
could wish to be philosophically comforted, in fact,
we could will these things with all our might, but the
needed power wasn’t there. Our human resources, as
marshalled by the will, were not sufficient; they failed
utterly.
Lack of power, that was our dilemma. We had to
find a power by which we could live, and it had to be
a Power greater than ourselves. Obviously. But where
and how were we to find this Power?
Well, that’s exactly what this book is about. Its
main object is to enable you to find a Power greater
than yourself which will solve your problem. That
means we have written a book which we believe to
be spiritual as well as moral. And it means, of course,
that we are going to talk about God. Here difficulty
arises with agnostics. Many times we talk to a new
man and watch his hope rise as we discuss his alcoho-
lic problems and explain our fellowship. But his face
falls when we speak of spiritual matters, especially
when we mention God, for we have re-opened a sub-
ject which our man thought he had neatly evaded or
entirely ignored.
We know how he feels. We have shared his honest
doubt and prejudice. Some of us have been violently
anti-religious. To others, the word “God’’ brought up
a particular idea of Him with which someone had tried
to impress them during childhood. Perhaps we re-
jected this particular conception because it seemed
inadequate. With that rejection we imagined we had
abandoned the God idea entirely. We were bothered
with the thought that faith and dependence upon a
Power beyond ourselves was somewhat weak, even
cowardly. We looked upon this world of warring
individuals, warring theological systems, and inexpli-
cable calamity, with deep skepticism. We looked
askance at many individuals who claimed to be godly.
How could a Supreme Being have anything to do with
it all? And who could comprehend a Supreme Being
anyhow? Yet, in other moments, we found ourselves
thinking, when enchanted by a starlit night, “Who,
then, made all this?’’ There was a feeling of awe and
wonder, but it was fleeting and soon lost.
Yes, we of agnostic temperament have had these
thoughts and experiences. Let us make haste to reas-
sure you. We found that as soon as we were able to
lay aside prejudice and express even a willingness to
believe in a Power greater than ourselves, we com-
menced to get results, even though it was impossible
for any of us to fully define or comprehend that
Power, which is God.
Much to our relief, we discovered we did not need
to consider another’s conception of God. Our own
conception, however inadequate, was sufficient to
make the approach and to effect a contact with Him.
As soon as we admitted the possible existence of a
Creative Intelligence, a Spirit of the Universe under-
lying the totality of things, we began to be possessed
of a new sense of power and direction, provided we
took other simple steps. We found that God does not
make too hard terms with those who seek Him. To us,
the Realm of Spirit is broad, roomy, all inclusive; never
exclusive or forbidding to those who earnestly seek.
It is open, we believe, to all men.
Ya sorry came off a bit strong, I’m withdrawing from Benzos and Coke and some opiates
I believe that you believed in a greater power, and by strongly believing it , your mind will make it seem real but tbh that was alll you bro, you did all that work, you just had a ghost with you pushing you to keep going you taught your brain to also. By finding healthy habits and making new neuro pathways that didn’t involve drugs
That is Chapter 4 in AA big book.
Holidays are rough for people like us. Keep your head up. Happens to the best of us.
Your allowed to believe what you believe. That is the great part about AA. But was not all me you can call it a Ghost if that's what it takes for you to believe in something that was not me. Drink some fluids and get through your detox man. You can get through it. The purpose isn't to decide God is or God isn't it is that something can help you and something other then you can solve your issue. With a conception of that alone you can work the program and are promised results if you take the steps with honestly willingness and open-mindedness. 1.We admitted we were powerless our lives had become unmanageable 2. Came to believe in a power greater then ourselves could restore us to sanity. 3. Made a Decision to turn our will and our live over to a God (power in your case) as we understood him.