It’s not easy but u got this ! Just the fact that you’re writing here on this group, you have all my support. You’re not alone! Xx
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You have to put your oxygen mask on first before you can put someone else's on. The moment you stop trying to control the outcome of things the better it will be.
I have faith in you!
I deal with the same thing you are experiencing one thing I know it's always something I am not doing enough of the program herring you help i have to work harder i will put you in my prayers God bless.
Go see you doctor be honest ask for help to get placed in a recovery program from there you can go to a womens sober or 1/2 way house. You can do this
You can do this....you have all of the answers rt there, you just need to apply the knowledge with actions and do it. Get away from the ex, at least for now... that's a dead end road, and you'll never stay sober as long as this person is using as well and doesn't want help as you've mentioned. Make those phone calls and get I to treatment and do what they tell you to do and how they tell you to do it. Don't over-complicate matters by doing it your own way, especially at first. Just keep your a** in the chair and your feet on the ground and concentrate on getting yourself to a healthier place in mind, body and spirit. Let the rest handle itself. Best of Luck! I have faith in you 
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Remember to love yourself and be kind to yourself and forgive yourself.
You can do it, quitting.
Hmu anytime.
Lots of love