Relapse

Recovery
#1

I drank the last 2 days. Not enough to completely lose myself, but enough to completely lose everything. I know I need to get myself under control but I'm finding it difficult to do so. I know the solution is easy, but one of the hardest solutions to make in my life at the same time.

Why is putting down the drink and reaching for the rope out of this pit so difficult? Why does my warped brain so easily turn to picking up a drink in the first place?

I need help. This post and getting to a meeting will be the first steps. I hope I don't lose everything else before I can get myself under control. I will not drink with you today.

7 Likes
#2

Re-read your last paragraph of your post every morning for the next 90 days. Re-read multiple times a day if you have to. It’s time to stop asking why and accept you have an illness…alcoholism. Recovery begins with step 1. You can do this

3 Likes
#3

I've been watching a lot of videos online lately from people in sobriety. One guy said something that has stuck with me. He asked, " what scares you about sobriety, what is it that you think you're going to lose?". I realized that for me that's what it is, fear. I see countless people in sobriety living their dreams, happy, thriving, successful and i know I can live that way too. Yet this thing called alcohol which has taken it all away keeps calling me, keeps telling me :this time it will be different fun. But it never is. So I remind myself each day that there's nothing to fear. In fact, the fear should be applied to alcohol not the life i can have in sobriety. No happiness in the bottle!

3 Likes
#4

Zach, I felt as you do too many times. There is a solution. I had to do the following:

  1. Surrender, realized I couldn’t get and stay sober on my own. I went to in person AA meetings every day, asked for help, accepted the help and took action.
  2. Made my sobriety my number 1 priority in life. Over finance, romance and even family. Sober I can have it all. Not sober I lose everything.
  3. Service. I helped out in the sober community even when I didn’t know how to. I was willing to do whatever it took.
  • I’m here if you want to talk.
3 Likes
#6

My issue is making sobriety my number one priority. I have too much else going on (or at least I tell myself that's the case) to make sobriety numero uno.

#7

You’re here asking for help, that’s already the first step. The drink is always easier to pick up than put down because that’s what addiction does. Your brain will get better, it’s just wired to survive the only way it knew how right now. Getting to a meeting and posting this takes courage. IWNDWYT.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​