I relapsed today. I had a miscarriage months ago and I've been grieving ever since. I was exercising, meditating, and staying away from alcohol. I felt in control and balanced. Now I'm beating myself up for drinking wine today.
My goal is for tomorrow to be my day 1.
Don't beat yourself up too much. You've been through a lot. If you haven't stopped drinking do so. Make the rest of today count too.
Thank you!
Feel better and hope you are sober forever. I watched my mom die recently and the hospital called it a panic attack. It was not. It was a heart attack
I had a miscarriage with a partner years ago. Really affected us both. Our different ways of grieving collapsed the relationship a year later. I'm sorry that happened to you too. I found an in person support group for miscarriage that helped. Also, the movie "The Rabbit Hole" with Nicole Kidman helped. Glad you're here.
You’ve been thru a lot. I understand your disappointment, but let’s turn your focus back to recovery. What’s done is done. Learn from this experience, and move forward to a new and greater level of recovery. The end game is to find peace and happiness. There’s no prize for not relapsing, or for the longest amount of continuous days. Just be sure to get back started on recovery asap. We don’t want you be one of those that went out for a drink, and came back years later or never made it back:pray:
❤🩹
It’s okay babe. You’ve been through a lot. This is all part of the process. Just get back up. That’s what matters 
Count from the day you stopped and started again makes no sense to me
Lyn
I'm sorry that you had to go through this. It's called believing the LIE; that this time, everything will be okay. But it never is, is it?
Next time you have a desire to drink, you need to play the scene all the way forward. What will happen if you drink? You will feel relief but it will be for a very short time. And when you wake up, you will know that you screwed up and now you will have more guilt to carry around like you're doing right now.
And now you have to start all over. So next time, play the scene all the way forward. And for God's sake, pick up that 1,000 lb phone and call somebody with long-term sobriety.
You mentioned balanced and in control. That sounds like something that you got out of one of those alternative recovery programs outside of Alcoholics Anonymous.
Long time members of Alcoholics Anonymous have known for a long time that we are not in control. That's why the first step States,
We admitted we were powerless over alcohol and that our lives have become unmanageable .
You just learned that alcohol is cunning, baffling and powerful. Without help it is too much for us. But there is one who has all power. That one is God. May you find him now.
The only one that can be in control is your higher power which I call God.
I can't say that I've been in your shoes because I'm not a woman. Try the Serenity Prayer from time to time.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. Courage to change the things I can. And the wisdom to know the difference.