It seems to me that, especially here during the holidays, that my biggest relapse risks are being around close friends and family that are isolating me rather than supporting my recovery. For example, I was actually disinvited from my family’s Christmas party based upon my past misdeeds while drinking even though I am making an honest attempt at recovery through acts not just words. Has anybody else been dealing with that kind of thing and does anyone have any suggestions as to how to not make it an impediment to recovery. I know I can turn the other cheek, but it pisses me off and anger, along with anxiety, depression, and boredom are triggers for me.
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Hey Edward. Merry Christmas! Rome wasn’t built in a day. Look at it from the other side of the fence… how many times did family/friends worry about a gathering that would be a shitshow because of actions that addiction caused? You are on the right path, and acknowledging the past is always a difficult thing to sit with. I wish there was a magic quote I could give that made it easier for you. Unfortunately all I can say is be patient. Trust takes time to be rebuilt. And there is no guarantee it ever will be. Step 9 is where it is in the steps for a reason. We are not in a position to make amends in early recovery, and have it be meaningful. You are healing and should focus on that… but our family needs to heal as well. Addiction doesn’t just hurt us. Just this year… go to the local AA parties. Spend the days at you local sober club. Take in as many meetings as you can. Peace will come.. it takes time.
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Yeah man, what Tim said. It took years of you being a jackaßß to lose the trust of your loved ones. It's gonna take some time to get it back. We are all or have been in the same place you are. Just keep your shït together so that everyone sees you mean it. If you relapse then you are really just playing out what they are worried about.
Hang in there.
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Edward, I understand the frustration. I too have been uninvited to family occasions but I totally understand why they are doing that. When I feel upset I KNOW it’s time to hit a meeting.
Best wishes and Happy Holidays
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