My mother passed away Friday after 2 years of me and my father taking care of her. I relapsed to cope and try to be strong for him. I’m in the hospital now detoxing. Feel guilty, ashamed, panicked. My dads still a wreck and I don’t know how to help or what to do
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Andrew — you must take care of yourself before you can help anyone else. Caregiving is almost always a traumatic experience so your Dad needs to seek help too. Guilt shame and panic will not help anyone.
It is so much harder (it was for me) to deal with grief while drinking especially when you were a caregiver to the one who is gone. There are grief groups in AA. You are not alone in this relapse and grief process. Gather any resources you can while in treatment. Prayers for you and your family.
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Thank you, just feeling so alone and hopeless at the moment
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I tried to numb my pain from grief with alcohol for a long time. It is not the answer this much I have learned. I know it’s a very lonely road. I don’t have the answer/answers I just know the longer I numbed out the harder it was to face my grief. Hugs to you and your dad!
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Very sorry for your loss. Don’t beat yourself up. Your relapse can be officially in the past with just one day. That is all any of us have.
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Thanks everyone just the last two months have been my lowest. My gf I loved very much of 4 years left me, I went to rehab leaving dad alone with mom. I get out of rehab and see how bad mom and dad both are and just started drinking to tough through it and be there for dad. It was wrong but as an alcoholic that’s all I knew to do
I numbed my pain and relapsed after my Dad died… the night of exactly. Pull yourself up, concentrate on yourself and get back out there to help your family. You can do this. Regret serves zero purpose.
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Hi Andrew: John S from NA. I'm a grateful recovering addict. I see that you went to rehab; that's good. Pick up the phone, my friend, call some people in recovery. They will understand what you're going through. It works!
Hang in there, Andrew. Very sorry for your loss. Put the past behind. Look at the next 24 hours. It’ll be more productive and enjoyable “sober”. I’m glad you’re seeking help too. Keep pushing!
Remember the out come
Check out Gabor Mate and his talks on palliative care. They really helped me while I was going through it.
You’re not alone, Your Higher Power is with You & we are here keeping you lifted in our prayers, thoughts, and these meaningful conversations. 
Be Encouraged.
Start by taking care of yourself. Then you can grieve together .
Take care of yourself. Put your oxygen mask on first so you can then take care of others. Sending you lots of love, you can do anything you want.
You are not alone, Andrew.
When my mother passed I was relieved. Strange, no? But I had cried and mourned, and drank, years before when it became obvious she was slowly losing her mind. First she lost her English and I had to dig up the native tongue I hadn't used since childhood. But that's not pertinent to this discussion.
Take care of yourself first. Then you'll be able to help your father. He's lost, too.
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Get clean and stay clean, using doesn't do anything but make things worse.
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