I'm an empath.
There are 4 people that I know that recently loss their mothers and I took it hard because my mom is around their age. I don't have the best relationship with my mom, but what if I loss her? That's where my mind has been for the past week. Drinking allows me to suppress my feelings.
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Your feelings may be suppressed but that doesn't change a thing.
Don't take this wrong but what if you lost your Mom. You will eventually. I lost both of my parents 18 yrs ago. Burying yourself in a bottle is only killing you.
You have to take care of you. You can do this. I will talk sobriety reach out anytime. 
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No excuses to use in sobriety. You either want it or you don’t.
My sister and I are both empaths. There are a couple of cool books out there kind of like daily reflections for people who are empathetic. You should check it out
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