Relapsed Hard

2-years ago I finally reached out for help,I fell off the rails a couple times but always got right back on track!The last 2-3 months I’ve been really struggling mentally & physically I relapsed hard 2- nights ago abandoned all my responsibilities,caring about nothing but feeding my addiction.There are no words on why,how or lessen the pain I’ve caused to my wife,family,friends,job.
The last 2-years everyone thinks I’m ok that I’m the solid one.I’m not ok! I’m fighting everyday and every night with my demons.I’m running out of time and I’m growing tired.I know I will have to live with this the rest of my life I need to get stronger so I can cope with this pulling me down in this hole I’m in.I want to finish my life healthy mind and body!:pray:

Wow. Bro I used those same words. This is your time to find yourself.

Oh hun, it can be ok. I can’t imagine what’s going on in your head but I would imagine you’re blowing it out of proportion. You can do this. Try to focus on today, drink some water & pray. It can get better.

Thank You