Relapsed today, which is worse cause I’m cross faded. It isn’t bad, Im conscious enough to take it easy and pace myself. Im it’s just easier to use then to feel those kinds of things you know? Hoping for strength and a better tomorrow.
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Prayers 
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As an alcoholic I know I cannot pick up. There's no pacing myself....one and I'm off to the races.. good luck
Who can you reach out to in your sober network? Do you have a sober network? I know once I start, I can’t stop and end up doing a lot of damage.