Vanessa,
I have a different approach than a lot of people because when people told me not to be too hard on myself, I knew it wasn't such a big deal when I went back out again and again and again.
The big lie with alcoholism is that this time everything will be okay. But it never is, is it? I'm hoping you just learned that lesson. So the next time you get a desire to drink you need to play the scene all the way forward. You may feel slight relief in the beginning but it will be short-lived.
And then when you wake up, if you wake up at all depending on how much you drank, you will have more guilt to carry around like you're doing right now because you will know that you accomplished absolutely nothing.
The other thing I'd like to ask you is, what have you been doing for this 30 days that you were sober? Were you simply going on sheer willpower and this app? Were you going to any AA meetings? Did you get any phone numbers of people with long-term sobriety?
This app is a great tool for support but I don't see it as a true solution to our problem. I'm not saying that Alcoholics Anonymous is the only way but I can tell you it's the way that worked for me and countless others who did what was suggested.
Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program.
Usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault. They seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average.