hey everyone. i was active on here about 4 months ago when i tried getting clean off opiates (oxy mostly). i was clean for about a week, and relapsed again. now, i am trying to get clean again. i feel like it is an endless battle. i was feeling so good clean last time and then caved in again, and now here we are again!! 
anyways, anyone else have experiences like this? how many times did you relapse before being clean “stuck” with you?
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More times than I can count or remember for sure! Each time felt harder to come back from too it felt like, but only if we keep trying do we have any hope for success.
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Plenty of times. Like Andrew said each time felt more difficult. Surrender yourself and your addiction. Do not say im gonna quit, do it . Change your mindset and realize that it takes help outside of your own to succeed.
It hurts my soul to read about anyone deeling with this type of addiction. Opiates are the worse. I would not wish that on my worse enemy. Refocus your energy on positive things like the gym or hiking. You got this 
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Thank you. I have been in a cycle of relapse/clean time for over a year now. It seems hopeless but I refuse to give up. Thanks again.
Thank you so much. I agree, I don’t wish opiate addiction on my worst enemy. I’ve told people that. My friends have asked me if they could try some of my percs and I always say F*CK NO, I do anything in my power to keep my friends away from opiates. It’s hard to find motivation to invest in hobbies and stuff when I work 40+ hours a week :,( but I am going to try. Never gonna give up and will stop making excuses!!
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You are so very welcome .. I used the gym as my outlet. Even when i was experiencing anxiety attacks i still would go. Only if it was for 1 min or heck one time i just sat in the parking lot . Development of Discipline. You sould try to do it every day and one day you well be like wow . Look how far ive come.
"Discipline is doing something you hate but doing it like you love it" M.T. But never stop. You got this
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In my traveling through my journey, I have learned not to compare to others at all in any way. In this case, number of times in recovery/treatment/rehab etc... Everyone's journey is different, they can have similarities, but we are all unique. I only say this point because early on in my recovery, when the want and intensity to use could come at any time, my addiction would have told my brain "see Jeff went to rehab 6 times before he got sober" and I only am on three. My addiction would use this as such a justification that I still have laspes left in "my recovery process" and it's all part of my journey. Addiction is brutal, and if I kept on comparing my recovery to others, I would be dead. Not saying you are doing that here, I noticed that in myself earlier on, when my cravings were the hardest, that my addiction will come up with any reason to knock me of my guard, so be mindful, and seek talking to others when you can.
I am proud of you for coming back, and you should be proud of you, that is most important!
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I got sober/clean plenty of times, mostly because of jail lol. Never really admitted to being an addict until about 10 years ago. Went to prison, got out and stayed sober for several years without "doing a program" but that ultimately led to another even worse relapse, I died twice in that stretch. I have everything, beautiful wife and daughter, families trust back, great career, brand new 700k house in Sunny Fort Lauderdale Florida, brand new Tesla....I still relapsed! It's not what's on the outside that needs work and attention, it's what's on the inside. Until we get to work on fixing us, we have no shot at long term sobriety. The drugs and alcohol are only a symptom. I highly suggest working with others in something like AA or NA and even therapy. I just got a year a week ago and I'm more proud of this than the past 4 years I had of not working on myself from the inside. If I can go from not having a place to live, stealing and burglarizing, no trust, just me and my stinkin thinkin to where I'm at now, anyone can!
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This comment gives me hope. Thank you for sharing your Story Dan.
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I'm sorry to hear this, Jade. Don't let the guilt or shame get to you. We've all had our ups and downs and very few people are able to let it go once and for all. I had a little over a year in and out of detoxes and programs and it took rinse and repeats until I finally came to the conclusion that I simply cannot even consider whether or not I can use responsibly. Its just not possible today. I'm sure you will get there. Keep the hope alive as I and everyone else here will for you.
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thanks so much omar. hearing stories like this definitely gives me hope. 
i wish there was a number
It takes what it takes for us to get it.
I suggest A.A. or NA.
I remember at a meeting a guy told me to drop the rock. I had no idea what he was talking about.
He said, all us sober folks are on a cruise ship relaxin on the deck. Here you are in the water, drowning. We’ve thrown you a rope and we’re all pulling trying to hoist you up on deck. But it would help if you dropped the rock your holding on to. Point was, my old ideas had to go! I need to try what worked for sooo many others.
Stopped drinking for a long time (2-3 years), had a very emotional breakup and started up again, but never went out and got plastered like I had used to. Got in a wreck last year that should have killed me, walked away without injury, and I haven’t used anything since, and I never will ever again. Just need that one thing that holds you mentally clear of anything a momentary calmness from substances might bring, and the daily work toward your sobriety. As we used to say in the Army, do the daily work that makes the green grass grow. What all do you do for the space that not using a substance like opiates creates (stress reduction, prevention of anxiety/depression, optimized hydration, strengthening different systems within your body i.e. deep breathing, etc.)?