I was 18 months sober and 3 weeks ago I relapsed on something called Zaza I couldn’t live a lie “To Thine own self be true” I told my boyfriend who has 3 years tomorrow and my sponsor but no one is beating me up like I am! I know by doing this to myself I am dismissing God and I never would intentionally do that. I feel like a piece of dirt and in my mind. I have to do the walk of shame for my 24 hours. at least that’s the way I feel but I also know it’s about the newcomer this all just makes me very very sad and a complete failure! I’ll be in the middle of the boat again tomorrow the safest place to be
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Hang in there. You still have the experience of 18 months sobriety. Don’t believe the whole newcomer thing. It stinks being a newcomer, so just don’t be one again😁. ODAAT.
Remember, all any of us have is today.
World record for sobriety is 24 hours 
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Good morning Michele
I’m sorry to hear you are struggling but please remember you still have the knowledge from the time that you accumulated. Please work that knowledge to continue to change your life for the better may God bless you and keep you.
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Hey your not a failure. You still have those 18 months. You never lost it. So ya got loaded. That's what we do. We have a disease. Honestly forget the walk of shame. You got honest. And you got back on track. As for relationships. We take a risk dating anybody in the rooms.
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What you're going through is very common.
It sounds like you are very loved and have a wonderful support network. I, for one, am proud of you. I KNOW what that feels like and it's difficult af to remember that it's only about today.
Are you clean & sober today?
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Michele, I’m glad ur getting back on track. I was a chronic relapser for a long time. I learned to always get back up, have deeper respect for my disease/addiction and stay super humble! Humility is a precious gift.
Dig deeper, stay closer and be grateful.
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It’s so hard to give ourselves the same compassion and grace that we give others who relapse. Journaling about what caused me to relapse helped, Id’d new triggers. 18m is a huge accomplishment, and you’ll do it again..xoxo
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Thank you guys for your words of encouragement. It means so much.
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What’s zaza