I am sick as a dog. I had to take off work because I had way to much to drink. I hate this. I hate being an alcoholic. I wish it go away 
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It's not easy but it's doable. You can do this. What do you need to get it done? Are you happy? U have unresolved trauma? Got to do the work, but it's the most worthwhile thing you can do
It’s ok sweet soul…be gentle with yourself. We are not alone in this fight. Can you find a meeting today? Even a zoom meeting?
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Welcome welcome. Take the best care of yourself today. HALT. Hungry angry lonely tired. This was most helpful for me in early sobriety. Remember you are not alone get and stay connected in a spiritual recovery group and just don’t drink today Ask for help from above. 
@latasha421085 I'm NOT going to coddle you. However what in your infinite wisdom triggered you to relapse?
How does it feel?
Was it worth it?
I'm glad you're here.
Give yourself some grace. Addiction is a disease that wants us dead. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and try again. Don’t quit quitting