My wife and I are both attic’s, when we get done going on a binge she would decide that it was the best thing for her and the family if she would kick me out, the first four times she had warned me that if I continued to use she would kick me out and she did, this last time she kicked me out just before Christmas I told her I was clean and I’ve been clean but she didn’t believe me so she kicked me out again, and called my PO so my PO UA’d me the next day for which I was clean, as I had told her, But she said that she’s never been single in her life and she wanted to be, and her words to me were I made her sick to her stomach she wanted a divorce and she never wanted to be with me again. So I attempted to move on in and a little while later I met somebody else and started dating her, now my soon to be ex-wife is showing a lot of jealousy towards my relationship and towards my new GF which tells me that my wife still has feelings for me, but she says that because I’m dating someone else i’m cheating on her and she can never be with me again because of that. Up untill the last time she kicked me out I expressed to her that I loved her unconditionally and that I would do whatever it takes to make our marriage work, I feel that I would not be in a relationship with anyone else if she wouldn’t have said what she did when I was being kicked out I would’ve waited and continued to do whatever it took, but the words she used told me that I never had a chance again so I moved on. My question is am I wrong for doing so and where do I go from here
Honestly that sounds toxic as he!l. Codependent, controlling, and destructive. I don’t fully agree with the dating so early in recovery, but hey you do you man. Biggest thing, is you need to look after your own sobriety, and health. Unfortunately that sometimes means cutting some people loose. Good luck to you my man. Hope you find peace.
You need to do what’s healthy for you, the next right thing for you, and I believe that you already know what that is. Personally, if I were in your position, I’d fully extricate myself from a ‘rubber band’ relationship where I repeatedly kept getting stretched and stressed, under tension, and then pulled back in. That would be the best and next right thing for me.
Be selfish in your fight to survive and thrive. In this case, the next right thing is ALL about YOU and no one else.
Move on with your life.
Minus your ex wife.
She is just being jealous and that has nothing to do with love. Just leave her alone she is being very unhealthy.
Toxic indeed….. it’s best you both moved on Jon
Sounds like you did the right thing, you moved on! You've got this!