Whew, just had someone ask me if I wanted a glass of wine and I said no right away! But I feel bad- like I rejected her, or over -disclosed. I realized I just need to say, “oh no thanks, I’m good.” That’s something I did a few years ago when I had a few years of sobriety. Like I don’t need to say,”ahh noo, im trying to be sober “ —and run and hide under a blanket.
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That’s right on and great advice,
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I’m in recovery from codependency and rejecting other people is in general hard for me. Even like a restaurant server🤦♀️ I want to explain why I’m saying no to them so I don’t hurt their feelings.
I’ve found it really helpful to say something that includes a yes to something when I’m saying no.
“Thank you, I don’t want any wine, but I would love a glass of iced tea right now” When I approach it this way I don’t have guilt. I hope someday I will be at the point where I can simply say “no thanks” and remember other peoples feelings aren’t my responsibility.
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Totally!!