I messed up. My goal hadn’t necessarily been to stay sober forever and I convinced myself that I was ready to have a drink again. I had two cocktails with my coworkers to celebrate my last bartending shift. I think I can make a learning experience out of this. My tolerance became really low recently and the moment I felt tipsy I wanted it to go away. That feeling I used to chase is not really desirable to me anymore. Ready to start over.
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It sounds like you learned a lot from your recent experience. I’m so glad that you’re ready to start over! (Also if bartending wasn’t helping Im glad you got out of it) much love 
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