A topic that needs to be discussed more often! So, “How is everyone’s s£x life now that they are clean and sober ?” Is it better, worse? Meh? For me s£x has always been intertwined with drugs. So I’m allowing my first year to be completely celibate. Although My s£x drive has been quite high lately, Im starting to enjoy s£xual pleasures with out the requirement of substances. S£x in recovery is so important regardless of your DOC. I guess my question to you all is How has your decision to stay clean and sober effect your s£x life?
Please share on your own experiences, as this is a safe non judgmental space for all.
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talk about extremes.. when I was using, I had more partners, more often than I would like to admit.. since I’ve been sober— a big fat ZERO.. part of that was the inpatient rehab programs.. but I have to accept that my s£xual behaviors when I was using were unhealthy and even addictive in their own right. So when this question is posed, it’s important to remember the importance of building healthy relationships and easing into it rather than picking up where I left off.
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Nicely said Jason 
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I have to agree with Jason, personally I didn’t realize it but I was also using it as a high in itself. Sober smex was scary as hel* at first. And I’m married haha. At first I was wayyy more in my head than I had hoped. But the great thing about now is that I remember it all and am learning to listen to my body a little more to make it even better than having it drunk!
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It was an odd adjustment at first but it’s better. Much better. Funny story. I had been sober for a while and had a partner confess to me that she had never had s$x sober. She wasn’t an alcoholic or anything but that was just how her dates always played out. So, that was quite profound for me to hear that. There’s a much better connection being sober and having s$x. More meaningful.
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I’ve always had a high physical drive, but in sobriety I don’t have much at all. I’ve also gotten married recently, and it’s been an adjustment for my partner. He feels less desirable because I barley want shmex anymore. I am more aware of my body now and I’m realizing that I have ignored my reproductive health for so long that I need to take better care of myself if I ever want to enjoy it again. It’s hard to take care of my health though because doctors don’t want to do anything for womens reproductive health that is not delivering a baby. It’s making me scared and is now one of my biggest points of anxiety. But the last throng I want to do is undergo exploratory surgery after my history of medical trauma.
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Been years for me, and that was before I got sober. It’s brutal out there, I’ve found.
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Haven't tried yet 
honestly I'm terrified!
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Much better without it! It may be a bit awkward at first, but I promise you will learn to love it very quickly. Now, if you’re with the wrong partner, you may wish you were loaded post s£x 
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It was bit weird at first but much more enjoyable, especially when its for the Right reasons.
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I was looking for anything that would in early sobriety. Had a couple girlfriends that didn’t last cause I was changing by the week. Then I around month 18 I finally did my 4th and 5th step. This was a game changer as it opened up my mind towards how I treated sëx and women. I just hit one year no sexual relationships on the 5th of July. I can say that as tough as it was especially to turn down sëx a few times, I’m glad I was able to take this time to really work on me. And to get closer to God and God’s ideals for my sëx life going forward. It’s no longer an obsession.
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S€x is different sober I might add, we'll alot quicker
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May I ask what’s wrong? You can PM me if it’s better but I’ve had that exploratory surgery before.
Your reply is everything! Im currently doing the no s£x for a year and I’m currently at 25 days sober. S£x was always an obsession but I’m learning that the more I let go of the fantasy the more I will have a chance to enjoy intimacy and s£x
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My s&x drive has increased! Shame my wife’s hasn’t!
Agreed important? Just curious bout s&xual pleasures? Sorry if too forward! Don’t have to answer.
I have a lot of experience with s*x and relationships in early sobriety when I was younger. In hindsight, if I would have left them all alone and just concentrated on staying sober and learning how to be a real man.i would have saved myself a lot of trouble.
Relationships and s*x are a bad idea in early sobriety. Most of us at that stage are codependent and have little to offer. just my experience.
Yes! Nicely said. I couldn't agree more.
Bro I’m at ZERO and my sx drive is a lot higher now too. My sx life went hand in hand with my drug and alcohol use. I’m at about 5 and 1/2 months clean and sober and I’m starting to come to terms that it’s probably not in my best interest to get involved in a relationship or s*x until I’ve honestly and thoroughly worked on myself. Especially after doing my 4th step and realized I’ve done nothing but damage women and hurt them time and time again. However it would be nice to get laid lol.
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