Before I decided to get sober, I had always been a nose to the grindstone, pull myself up by the bootstraps kind of person. I have always struggled with severe anxiety, but I'd just force my way through EVERYTHING anyway, and it was completely exhausting. I actually pushed myself to the point of a nervous breakdown. After I had the breakdown it completely changed me. Where in the past I'd power through, suddenly I just gave up/was way too overwhelmed to handle ANYTHING. Now I'm just searching for some balance when all I've ever really known are extremes. I know that sometimes you have to push yourself in life and sometimes you need to chill out and allow yourself to heal, but how tf do you know the difference?
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Time. I was that way as well. I learned that if you look at everything you “need” to do and everything you “want” to do as a scale. Add one grain of sand to each side at a time. If the scales tip too far one way, add some sand to the other side. It may sound hokey but it works for me. In the beginning I wrote lists. Needs/wants now I can just feel it.
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I can relate. I’m either 110% in, or I’m apathetic af. For me, meditation has helped a lot. Being aware and mindful of my issues on a daily basis, along with a desire to change, has enabled me to slow down and pause to think things thru and make better choices. My brain is wired to just react, and then my thinking follows thru with a narrative to justify my actions or inactions. Now I try to think things thru first. I also don’t keep all of these thoughts in my head. I share them with my support group to get some feedback and to be accountable. Either way, balance is a big issue. At least you are aware of it. Now it’s time to work on it. You can do it
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I’ve been working on radical self-honesty, trying not to look to others for what’s “normal” and learning to trust my instincts. As in yoga class, one can really learn over time how to push themselves, yet not push too hard. I dunno if a person could really learn that from another. Down inside, you know what’s right for you.
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Thanks y'all for sharing some insight. It is more helpful than you know. 
Agree with the comments about awareness/mindfulness. Whenever I’m in that mindset, I try to evaluate my motives and think about the desired outcome. I know I can get overwhelmed by a situation and react as opposed to taking a breath and considering my options
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Perspective. I had a similar experience, and what I needed to do was think through what’s important to me, and it turned out I was spending way too much effort on the unimportant stuff or things that were beyond my control. Something that always stuck with me is “no one on their deathbed says, gee I wish I’d spent more time in the office”.
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Yeah I can be a very reactive person too. Thinking first is definitely something I need to work on.
Very good point and I think watching too many people I love die lately is actually what made me more conscious of trying to find that balance within myself. I definitely don't want to waste my life on sh*t that doesn't matter.