I have been relapsed for months now. I’m finally down to 2 a day, in the morning, but I’m terrified if the withdrawals when I finally stop. No one knows I’ve used. And it’s killing me. Phew just needed to get that out there. I have a therapist and a sponsor but I’m too ashamed to tell anyone until I successfully stop.
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Hang in there!
Let them help you ! Relapse is part of recovery. Don’t give up.
Messaged you 
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Relapse is NOT part of recovery. Recovery is recovery. Nowhere does it say we MUST or SHOULD relapse. It happens but it does not have to be part of anyones story.
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Don’t give up. You can get there
Becca it happens. The best thing you could do for your recovery is get honest and be vulnerable. I think you will find love and acceptance and be able to move forwqrd and get bqck on track.
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Wow. I didn’t say someone must or should relapse. But statistically speaking it is part of recovery. I’m here being supportive letting her know she is not alone. It is uncommon for anyone to get this the first time around. It’s a shame you can’t see that. Open up the Big Book!
While relapse isn't a requirement, it is a reality. Getting honest is the cure.
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Be honest. They should be nonjudgmental
Hello Becca, no such thing as a secret relapse. Believe me they at least suspect. Now get honest and move on. I believe in a comprehensive strategy to sobriety.
Get back into your program
Get educated on alcoholism, read Alcohol Explained by William Porter and checkout Gillian Tietz's website Sober Powered. She's a recovering alcoholic with a wealth of information.
Get on board with you support group, your family Nd close friends, they are your life line.
Get straight with God. Prayers do help.
I know you can do this you know you can do this
I will talk sobriety anytime
Best of luck
Prayers always
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It’s OK to be honest and say when you relapse believe it or not it helps you a lot I was going to meetings heck I was even going to church on Rockies and Lortabs but I am a recovering heroin addict of 20 years so nobody knows about withdrawals like I do it’s OK to tamper yourself off but you have to have the desire to want to stop once you have that you’ll begin to get stronger and stronger as time goes by I promise when they say keep a higher power keep a higher power he’ll do for you what you can’t do for yourself and once you’ve had him I promise you you’re never want to be without them
You said “relapse is part of recovery”. It is not. Telling people it is is misleading and untrue. Telling people it is ok if they relapse is supportive. It’s ok to relapse but it does not have to be part of recovery.
I’ve been there. If your afraid the withdrawals are going to be horrible please go to the ER. Withdrawal can be dangerous. Hang in there sis. I’m routing for you!
Becca!!! Remember you don’t have to do this alone! Tell your sponsor! We are only as sick as our secrets.
The sooner you confess to your sponsor and home group the sooner your sobriety will begin.
Get back into reading the book with your sponsor, work the steps and watch your life transform from misery to blissfully beautiful joy that none of us had dreamed possible. I’m living proof of a miracle. I tried to commit suicide four times! Once with a shop vac hose attached to my exhaust pipe and then shove into the side window of my truck. Sat in there for 10 minutes before I couldn’t stand the smell….
Fast forward 18 months of sobriety steps 1-3 down and completely miserable…
Did the 4th and 5th step got instant relief! All those resentment, fears and harms along with the secrets I kept suddenly became a thing of my past. Ask my HP to remove the defects of character AKA shortcomings and replace them with a new attitude and outlook upon life. Then unmade the list of those I had harmed and I felt the misery again! The pain and shame! The fear of what they would say if I called them…. Then I asked HP to give me the willingness to make amends to them all! And I began to do just that. Repairing the past by righting all the wrongs I’ve done. Now I’m almost free. I have a few more to make. Waiting on Divine time. I keep praying. Meditation helps to restore balance. I’m alive today, I’m grateful for all I have! I have a handful of sponsees l get to help guide them through the steps! To watch them recover as I did from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body is truly an experience I thought I’d never be apart of.
I’m an alcoholic who has recovered. My will (how I think) is now in the balance of a Higher Power. When life gets tough I ask for help. I ask God to bring me what I need to get through this situation. I also thank God daily for all. The good and the bad. It’s all lessons we can learn from once we stop the pity party.
I’ll pray for you to heal! To find a power greater then yourself to lean on.
Felt that
Relapse was a part of my addiction for sure. I clearly remember exactly how it felt to sober up and feel worse than I had before I caved. I remember the fear and guilt. The craving and the shame. I remember thinking “I already screwed up so 1 more drink or day or weekend won’t matter”.
But I got through it, by going to meetings and truly working with my sponsor. Understanding step 1. The powerlessness and unmanageability. I was finally able to wave the white flag. To admit that whiskey won. And nothing I could do, would change that. So I stopped doing it my way. I checked my ego and pride and listened to some amazing folks who knew my struggles but were not suffering. They taught me the new way. The new way that only works when you give up on the old way.
I can’t speak for yours, but my sponsor is a man who I never have to prove anything to. He is someone who accepts me as I am, where I am. He is the person who steadies me when I get wobbly. He is the one I call when I feel myself isolating. Keeping things from him is like lying to myself.
And eventually, I was able to forgive myself, and to embrace my past. I wouldn’t be who I am without aa. And I wouldn’t have found aa unless everything else failed. Yet here I am. Better than ever.
You have nothing to be ashamed about. Shame is one of the consequences of relapse. That's why when you get the cravings, your head is promising you that everything will be okay this time. But as it turns out it wasn't okay was it?
You're not the first and you certainly won't be the last person to relapse. But you do need to get a game plan together. The first step is putting the cork in the bottle.
If the cravings are that bad that you have elevated blood pressure and get into physical withdrawal symptoms then you need to find a detox center. Get some sugar going. Maybe some honey and orange juice and that will definitely help fight the cravings.
In the meantime, here's some food for thought from The Big Book of AA.
Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol. The sensation is so elusive that, while they admit it is injurious, they cannot after a time differentiate the true from the false. To them, their alcoholic life seems the only normal one.
They are restless, irritable and discontented
unless they can again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinks—drinks which they see others taking with impunity. After they have succumbed to the desire again, as so many do, and the
phenomenon of craving develops,
they pass through the well-known stages of a spree, emerging remorseful, with a firm resolution not to drink again. This is repeated over and over, and unless this person can experience an
entire psychic change
there is very little hope of his or her recovery.”
Go to meetings, and get a sponsor to take you through the 12 steps.
Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path.
Don’t feel ashamed it’s scary to admit that you have messed up but telling your sponsor is good they will know how to help you!
I think you should just be honest, you’ll find getting back on track to be much easier when you aren’t trying to do it alone. That’s been my experience, anyway.
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