Secrets keep us sick… I think a lot of us can relate that keeping a long term relationship before and after active addiction is hard if not impossible. I’ve been married for 27 years, together 32 (yes met very young). I’ve drank our entire marriage and we became very codependent. It’s became a very sick relationship especially the last few year in my deep alcoholism. We were essentially separated for about 10 months at the very end of my use and the first year of my recovery. Headed for divorce but she was gracious enough to not make any decisions to give me plenty of time to just concentrate on my recovery for nearly the first year. We also became not codependent through our recovery programs in this time. So, at a year sober we were healthy enough to begin to take a healthy realistic look at our relationship, it was hard, we were faced with the strang spot where honestly… we didn’t want to get divorced (we have a deep old love for each other) but things changed so much that we both felt that something drastically needed to be changed and both wanted to experience life different. This is where my secret that I haven’t shared with anyone other than my sponcor comes in, you guys are my Guinea pigs😂. My wife presented me with her wanting to be in an open/ poly/enm relationship. I was very hesitant for a long time but decided to not control her and worked for a long time to find acceptance to allow her to be her and she has been a lot happier since. I however have just concentrated on recovery in AA and ACA since but I feel I’m ready to begin my exploration soon. So Im practicing “coming out” on you guys, I’ve felt a lot of shame and other negative emotions surrounding this until lately. It is what it is and I’m ready to enjoy life and be free to enjoy my life. So I’m not expecting comments unless you truly feel moved to, I just wanted to get more comfortable in sharing my lifestyle with people I don’t see directly, I know I’ll be faced with that eventually so I’m just practicing. Thanks for listening
1 Like