I recently went on a 4 day bender and completely fucked up this new relationship I had..I am so mad at myself because this isn’t the first time I’ve done this and I promised myself I wouldn’t do this. I can’t even sit with my feelings because I’m so angry/disappointed with myself..
8 Likes
I have been there before until I had enough remember one day at a time
You have to get back up and dust yourself off.
In some instances there has been brief recovery, followed always by a still worse relapse. Physicians who are familiar with alcoholism agree there is no such thing a making a normal drinker out of an alcoholic. Science may one day accomplish this, but it hasn't done so yet.
Despite all we can say, many who are real alcoholics are not going to believe they are in that class. By every form of self- deception and experimentation, they will try to prove themselves exceptions to the rule, therefore nonalcoholic. If anyone who is showing inability to control his drinking can do the right-about- face and drink like a gentleman, our hats are off to him. Heaven knows, we have tried hard enough and long enough to drink like other people!
1 Like
I can relate but know it will get better!
I know this may be hard to hear right now because it was for me when I was struggling, but self loathing is part of the triangle of self obsession. It continues to put us at the center of everything and not allow our higher power to take the reigns. The only thing I can suggest is to talk to people in recovery, pray about it and maybe try and find a way to be of service. Just do whatever you can to not sit in that self hatred. You've got this.
That’s what we Alcoholics do when we forget the first step.
Hi Megan. You fell off the bus that doesn’t mean you give up. You get back on and fight this disease. You can do this. With some help from family and family start over and get alcohol out of your life not relationships. Have a great day!!!
Good morning Megan
Are you in a 12 step program? It is tough when we tell ourselves over and over again that we’re not gonna drink or drug anymore.
Then we pick up and we can’t understand why we did. The mental obsession is a disease of the mind. If we don’t have a defense against the first drink or the first drug. do not stand a chance.
That’s why I was asking if you are in a 12 step program. I’m praying for you.
1 Like
You need AA meetings, sponsor and work your steps. I played this game for 29 years trying to quit. One day at a time
Hope your week got better
Hey Megan, in my experience beating ourselves up over our mistakes tends to be a common thing with us addicts. I would even go so far as to say it is often one of the things that drives us toward numbing our emotions through our substance abuse.
Something to consider.
How are you doing today Megan? How are you feeling?