I have a friend who whenever she texts me the first thing she has to tell me is how long she has been sober for. The second is how much she loves recovery and the only thing she talks to me about is recovery. I have tried to change the subject multiple times but she changes it back to recovery. Complains to me about how others are being self absorbed yet in my view she’s being exactly that. The other day she texted me about how she forgot how she loves reading books about recovery. I did tell her I am kind of tired of her talking about recovery all the time and now she is mad at me, but I can only take so much. Maybe I am the only one she can reach out to about all of this or she just wants to brag to me about it, but, did I do the right thing by telling her it’s bothering me or should I have just listened more to her regardless because she’s in recovery and might be having a difficult time.
Thank you for that. It’s good to see it from another perspective and getting another point of view other than mine.
You feel how you feel. You communicated. You set a boundary. Good job.
But if you’re : years sober and she’s 3 months, maybe cut her some slack.
Me: three years sober. Her: 9 months sober but relapsed 9 months ago after being 2 years sober and the last time before she relapsed she did the same thing with talking about recovery and that was it.
Does she go to meetings? Have a sponsor? There are many outlets for discussing sobriety.
Does she maybe feel a stronger connection to you than just sobriety but that’s all she’s willing to talk about because she is afraid of something?
One must set boundaries for one’s own mental health and well being. Communicating boundaries to the other person, then kindly telling them if they cannot respect your boundaries that you must remove yourself for your own good. They may or may not understand that.
No sponsor, goes to meetings, doesn’t really work her steps. She will go weeks without talking to me and then when she does it’s nothing but recovery.
Enforce your boundaries and get her a sponsor